Season 3 Ep. 1 // Are you Quietly Quitting??

Bryan: 0:02

Welcome to the Amplified Marriage Podcast. This is a bit different. We're starting a little bit different when you're talking about quiet quitting today. And we're gonna be talking about some signs that you or your partner, your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, are actually quietly quitting on each other, not giving the relationship and opportunity by not putting in the right amount of effort. And so today we just wanna start. This whole new season with a bang and go into something that's a real, it's a trend right now in our current culture.

Natalie: 0:48

Welcome to another episode of Amplified Marriage. I'm Natalie. I'm Brian. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you've heard us say over the last two seasons onto our third. Now get comfy, grab a coffee, grab a tea, grab a snack. We're so glad that you've joined us for our chat today.

Bryan: 1:05

Absolutely. And as you heard, we are talking about quiet, quitting.

Natalie: 1:10

Mm-hmm. seems to be this, this new term, flying around made super popular by TikTok.

Bryan: 1:16

Well, I think that even in, in previous episodes, Today we're talking a lot about, is really just about communication. It, it's essentially, essentially it's about communication, but we're looking at it a bit differently, kind of around the interest was sparked in us with the, the current TikTok trends. We, we, we get. bombarded on Instagram and Facebook by these people that are quietly quitting. Mm-hmm. This, it's funny how everyone's like, oh, this is a new trend. This has been around for such a long time. That's right. And we, we've touched on sort of slow fade Yeah. In our earlier seasons where it was, you know, we briefly touched on that. Yeah. So we're kind of diving deep cuz it seems to be what's really floating out. And you know, if you heard that old saying, I was thinking about that when we were prepping, is that old saying, dress for the job that you want. I remember when I started working at Shaw years ago, that's one of the, the first things they said, dress for the job that you want. Mm-hmm. And I kind of had this attitude, well, or this thought, well we're, we're getting ready for this podcast, but it was like, behave or act or fight for the marriage that you want. That's right. And you don't have to settle sometimes for the marriage that.

Natalie: 2:27

Exactly, and, and that's not, leave your partner or leave your spouse. That's just saying you might have to change your approach. Right. You might have to change your tactics. Right.

Bryan: 2:37

And even though quiet quitting is is so much centered around a job like it, it's really

Natalie: 2:43

central job. It kind of came from.

Bryan: 2:45

Yeah. And that's kind of where we even got triggered for this and doing some research there's actually a lot out there on quietly quitting in relationships, but it's not a new concept. No, and I'm going to use something that we probably have never done before. I'm going to use a Homer Simpson quote that this was something that was said in 1995, Homer Simpson on the Simpsons said to Lisa, "Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and you do it really half-assed. That's the American way".

Natalie: 3:11

How Applicable? When you think of the amount of effort, I mean, they're talking about a job perspective, but if we flip that to a relationship standpoint, right. Effective is that quote to saying, if you just don't like what you do, you don't just leave, you can just get by doing the bare minimum. And so many couples that we know get by on doing the bare minimum

Bryan: 3:37

and bare minimum, I think is the, the, like the, I like the ideal word for this whole quietly quitting. Like we, I, I, I really love this message. It's actually a scripture. It's a, or it's a verse or a Bible term that I will use. I'm a pastor, so you get some of that. Today is we have this thing that I say, if you don't like what you're reaping, you have to change what you're sowing. Mm-hmm. In other words, if you don't like what's happening in your marriage, if you don't like the way you communicate, the way you process information, the way you deal with your emotions, the way you fight, even the way. Any of that, you have to change your approach. So if you're not getting what you want outta the relationship, you have to put in the work on your side, be accountable for you. Yep. To make the relationship better. Right. Exactly. And it's not, I mean, if you can recognize within yourself, Hey, I don't. I don't like this or this bothers me or whatever, but then not say anything and not articulate. Right? How are you expecting anything to change, right? Like the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result, right? You're going to. Drive yourself nuts and drive those around you and your partner if you continually do the same thing that isn't working over and over again, right? We've said so many times, you know what you know, and so hopefully this can at least spark a conversation, right? Or, or you even, you, you almost work yourself or drive yourself to a standstill because you're trying to do the bare minimum and you're, you're expecting the other person to change before. Exactly it. Work on yourself and when you start to work on the areas that you are lacking in, or Frank, like you kind of suck in, then you are. I mean it, this was our story when I stopped basing the change of our relationship based on when you finally got it together, and, and really started. introspectively. Look at myself and my failures and my contribution to the dissolving, you know, communication in our marriage. Right. Things began to change within me. Yeah. Because I began to see the heirs of my way right. And began to work on myself. And and really, I mean, it's a. Right. You have to choose to want to be in the relationship with that person. And if you're not making that choice, and we've been together almost till 24 years, we still have have to make that choice. Wow. Right. You, you get up and you don't get up. you still make the choice to stay committed to, to loving your spouse, to, you know, you get up every day, you go to work, you take your kids to school, whatnot. Yeah. It's the same concept, right? It just doesn't magically happen over the years if you are not willing to put in the work. Right. And I think that, that saying it's a hundred percent, a hundred percent, not 50 50. Like, I'm gonna put in 50%, you're gonna put in 50% of the work and then we'll make a magic a hundred. Yeah. No, it's, we both have to put a hundred over a hundred as much as we can into the relationship. And that's why it's such a trend like that. Even when we were doing some research into this, you had. One of the articles, I think it was from the New York Post, was saying there was a relationship and someone,

Natalie: 7:03

oh, yeah. Okay. You've heard us. If you've been with us since the beginning, you've heard our whole toilet seat debacle. I, it's not a debacle,

Bryan: 7:12

it's a truth. I think you need to keep it up for me a little bit more

Natalie: 7:14

often. Thank you. I don't like the toilet seat being left up because I like it up because I've fallen in too many times. Right. So it, it, you get my point. Well, In this new trend that is coming, this woman was expressing her displeasure with this toilet seat being up all the time. And the New York Post commented that the what's the word I'm looking for? The advice that she was given was to divorce her husband because he, the toilet seat up. Let that sink in if that's what it takes. For you to end your marriage, is the person leaving the toilet seat up? I mean, my husband still leaves the toilet seat up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Bryan: 7:57

It's like almost 10% better than it was 20 years ago.

Natalie: 8:01

I guess 10% is better than no percent, but

Bryan: 8:05

can we at least go with 15%? We'll, we'll

Natalie: 8:07

stick with 10, but wow. Wow. The point being I had to make a choice. Is this a hill? I'm willing to. For a long

Bryan: 8:16

time you were willing to die on that hill. I was

Natalie: 8:17

willing to die on that hill It. But when, when you're coming to, is this worth the end of him a marriage because he leaves the toilet seat up? Like there could be so many worse things

Bryan: 8:29

when you're in a bit of a sassy mood. There's been times where I'll be in the bathroom and you'll text me, put the toilet seat down. Just cracking a joke.

Natalie: 8:38

That's right. I mean, we joke about it now because now it's kind of like, you know,

Bryan: 8:42

It's way, it's not 10%, it's way better than it was. Like, I,

Natalie: 8:47

whatever helps you sleep at, if

Bryan: 8:49

you guys could see her face right now and the way she's trying to keep it from contorting into just a face of lies and she's just like, you're such a liar.

Natalie: 8:58

The point is that is not grounds for divorce and it's really, really, really unfortunate. If that is the advice that is floating around out there. Well, that and

Bryan: 9:08

the part of the, the quiet quitting issue in relationships. If you don't have the right and we should, if you don't have the right friends and family around you that are for you and your marriage right, you need to chuck them. And it sounds really harsh, but you need people that are for you. Cuz marriage is hard enough. Yeah. When you have friends and family that are supporting you and walking you through life together. Exactly. But marriage is even harder when you don't have that. And you have toxic friends that are saying, well, he left a toilet. Divorce him, he left his socks on the floor. Divorce him. Yep. Or, or she didn't buy the milk that you wanted or prepared the dinner that you wanted, like get divorced. Like there's, you should be willing 100% all the time to be able to fight through almost anything in a relationship. Right. And we believe, like you, one of our, our lines that we say the most is we believe that marriage can be restored. You want to have a good marriage, so into your relationship. Like the reason Natalie and I have a, a, a good marriage. Now that's not perfect. Believe you me, she is not perfect. I will tell you guys, she, anyway, we won't go there but. To fight for that marriage. If we wouldn't have fought for it, we wouldn't be where we are now. That's right. And we have to keep waking up every day and fighting for the relationship. Don't quit just because things get hard, like come on.

Natalie: 10:17

Exactly. And I was saying to Brian, one could assume. That we've been together for a long time, right? We've been married for 21 and a half years. One could assume that you can anticipate my every need, my every desire, my every thought, and, and on. Some things you really can anticipate.

Bryan: 10:38

I'm glad that there was some things there cuz I'm like one could assume those things and be wrong. Right?

Natalie: 10:42

And, and there's still a lot. That is the wrong thought process because I still have to communicate. You are not a mind reader and why? Yes, you can still anticipate because of my mannerisms or my idiosyncrasies or the things that I've already expressed that I enjoy. One of those is I enjoy my husband making coffee before I go to bed so that I can wake up early with it ready for

Bryan: 11:12

me. Did you bring this up because recently. I did not make one one night. No. I was

Natalie: 11:17

so sad, but

Bryan: 11:19

okay. No, no, no. Is not, no, no, no, no, no. We need to have a moment here when I need to inform our people that listen to this of the silliness of what's about what happens if I miss coffee, which is rare. It's very rare. I need you to acknowledge the rareness. Yes.

Natalie: 11:35

I'm, I'm acknowledging this is not a toilet seat problem.

Bryan: 11:37

Rare. This is very rare when I missed the coffee, but like three nights ago, I missed the coffee. I was really tired. I stayed up. Way too late for me and I ended up going to bed, not making coffee. Didn't even cross my mind. And she even said, Hey Brian, can you remember to make coffee? He said, yeah, I got it. When do I ever miss smarty pants on me? I make the coffee. But what's funny is, If she wouldn't have made coffee for me, I would get up in the morning and I would just make a pot of coffee. No, she sits in her sadness doing her devotions at six in the morning till about seven or seven 30 when I get up and then looks at me, never really angrily and stares at me and said, you didn't make me coffee. Dead in the eyes. dead pan. You didn't make me coffee. With a little tear that dribbles down the side of her face, And my immediate response is, I'm sorry. You're right. I forgot. Why didn't you make your own pot of coffee? Well, cuz you didn't do it. I'm like, I don't understand the words that you're saying. That's

Natalie: 12:29

right. The bottom line is you have spoiled me and it's not worth being awake if there's no coffee waiting for me. And oftentimes I will go right back to bed. That's very true. But saying back to our point of still have to communicate, you can anticipate that we'll use coffee as an example. You can anticipate that. Love and enjoy and appreciate the fact that you make me my coffee the night before. I still have to communicate though. Please don't forget to make the coffee because on, and even with that communication, it's still, there are still misses. Right. And that's what we're saying.

Bryan: 13:07

And, but that's where a healthy communication in the relationship. Absolutely where, where that actually makes a big difference in how we're going to approach the relationship and that that's important. And so it's, it's interesting how. one of the, we're gonna get into some of the reasons. We have a two, three episodes worth of quiet quitting that we really wanted to break down for you. Yeah. But one of the big things is even around, say the coffee issue where I didn't make of that coffee that day is one of the things that could be construed or be an issue is that you actually end up talking less and less to each other, which is interesting cuz you talked to me about the coffee and I still missed mm-hmm. So what would the difference be if you weren't talking to. And you had expectations and I can't fulfill them because you can't because we're talking less and less.

Natalie: 13:54

Yep. Right, right. I'd be right. Angry and honestly, right. There have been many times of the course of our marriage where we fall in into that trap of, well, you should know how many times do I have to tell you, right? Oh yeah. Right. That I don't like the toilet seat up, or I don't like this, or I don't like that. Right.

Bryan: 14:13

Whatever, whatever. Insert your own Exactly. Thing in your own relationship, whatever it is. And so the,

Natalie: 14:18

the, the communication doesn't stop because you've mentioned it once or twice or 15

Bryan: 14:22

times. Like Yeah, like a healthy, a healthy communication isn't necessarily about repeating the issue over and over. Like that can get annoying if it's done and you're nagging, which you're not much of an ag anymore. I didn't wanna say that on error. I

Natalie: 14:39

have no problem. I can own my baggage. And I wanted

Bryan: 14:43

you to own it. I didn't wanna

Natalie: 14:44

own it for you. The, the nagging when we break it down is just me or whoever trying to manipulate the result to go in their favor, trying to

Bryan: 14:53

make me feel guilty. Now, every, okay, like the, here, here's a funny, one of those things. Like every guy has experienced the, Hey, can you take out the garbage? And you said, yeah. And not seven seconds. The wife has taken out the garbage cuz you didn't move fast enough. Every guy has done that. Yes. Experienced that. That's right. Of some kind of, right. That's right. But, and that's frustrating, but that's not nagging. That's just you not being patient for the husband

Natalie: 15:19

to move. That's right. I, but also, and I've done that

Bryan: 15:23

as much as we don't wanna go there, so that we are going there. No, no, no. Like it, it happens and, but that nagging is when you're like, what you said you're trying to manipulate them into. So here's the thing, if you're getting result,

Natalie: 15:37

I want without

Bryan: 15:37

actually, but here's the thing. If you're not talking and communicating your way through things in a healthy. Then nagging oftentimes is the only thing that you hear. That's right. So if I don't have a relationship with you and, and we're talking through whatever, like, and light things, like, hey, doing the laundry. And you tell me for whatever, whatever small thing it is, and the only thing I hear from you is we didn't talk about my day. We didn't talk about what happened, what happened to the car, did you put gas? We didn't talk about any of that. We're talking less and less and less. And then when you ask me to do something, it just sounds like nagging. That's right. Because you're, the only thing you're hearing sometimes at that point is you're filtering, filtering everything through a negative view or a negative perspective. Yes. Because there's no you, you've actually neglected the relationship and a huge part of any good relationship is communi.

Natalie: 16:26

That's right. And I've done it. I've done it. Where you've gone above and beyond my ask or my expectation, and I've come home and the only thing I can be fixated on is the thing you didn't

Bryan: 16:37

do. Oh, yeah. Do you remember the van incident? Mm. Came back on a plane. I came back on a plane. So you, you went away on a trip? I don't know what it was. One of the few times. It was funny. You went away and I think it's in those moments I realized that you do most of the childcare and then you go away for a week and I'm like, I gotta

Natalie: 16:56

look after my, what happened to the van? Refresh

Bryan: 16:58

my memory. So I, I remember this because we ended up getting in a fight for it for like a day. I was choked because you said, Hey, before leave I want you to clean the van. And you'd said it over and over cuz we were not in a healthy place And you said, Hey, I want you to clean the van. And I cleaned the van, but just not the way you liked. It was done well. Oh but it doesn't, wasn't done the way you want it and you ime like not even a hey, like you gave me a hug. We got to the van and you launched in immediately into, I hate this. This wasn't good enough. I was, I remember choked in the moment cuz I'm like, I spent time on this with the kids in the back playing vacuuming, washing. Yeah. And I still had stuff in the center console that we were like, I dunno, eight years, seven years married and still working through some of our issues. Yep. Some of the issues. And you were just so frustrated. And that was because we hadn't been working at communicating well,

Natalie: 17:47

No, and I didn't. I don't know. At that

Bryan: 17:51

time you said clean it, you didn't communicate. This is such an easy thing. Exactly. You said

Natalie: 17:54

clean it. But my expectations at that point too were so ridiculously. Oh yeah, yeah. Out of this universe, They were silly.

Bryan: 18:02

They were. They were. But you just said clean it and I cleaned it. Yeah. Just not the way you wanted it to be cleaned.

Natalie: 18:07

Exactly. And so this is a prime example of something so. I mean, in hindsight, really silly, but in the moment was catastrophic in my

Bryan: 18:21

own mind. Well, and it's interesting, like even as we, we were, we were talking about this, there's so much about quiet quitting, like the, the idea of just quietly quitting and the relationship that has to do with you start taking out the, the key. Day in, day out, connecting pieces that actually hold the relationship in place, that, that actually act like the glue, which is the, the communication piece. But you're not talking about these things, but if you quit on your relationship, which is just a symptom of greater issues, but you're quitting on the relationship mm-hmm. and you're talking about less things, it's like, it's like pulling. Have you ever seen Jen? Yes. Yeah. You're just slowly pulling pieces out of this tower, hoping it doesn't crash, hoping that it doesn't crash and fall, crash and burn because you're not communicating way through. Instead of putting pieces back in, you're pulling them out every time you, it's another day without communicating. It's another hour without communicating. It's another month without communicating. You're just adding more and more like fuel to the fire

Natalie: 19:18

almost. The bottom line is you need to be able to identify, discuss, and resolve issues. Right? That right there is like the magic formula,

Bryan: 19:30

right? Yeah. If there was a magic formula to

Natalie: 19:31

marriage, right, or to communication, right? That would be it. You need to identify, and it's not just pointing the finger at your spouse, right? For all of their faults, it really. introspectively looking at you, right? Identifying within you what is wrong, what your contribution is to relationship, discussing and resolving, coming to a solution together, you're coming to an understanding, right? This isn't a competition of

Bryan: 19:58

who's right. And the, the thing about unity and marriage is because we're believers and. Have really good healthy Bible relationship. We have good relationship with God. God says very much so. To fight for the marriage. To fight for unity. Yeah,

Natalie: 20:12

unity. That's where the, the blessing is commanded. Right.

Bryan: 20:16

But unity doesn't mean uniformity. Unity, right. Not mean uniformity. That's right. Doesn't mean that we agree on everything. It just means that we're working for the same goal going forward. And you can't know what the same goal is if you're talking less and less. That's

Natalie: 20:30

right. Right. And. You, you're probably wonder like, well, how can we, you know, how can we give us something a, a tool? I mean, we live in a day and age where, you know, tech and media doesn't have to be a disadvantage. I very much appreciate that we can. Connect much easier than it was when we were teenagers, when everything was, I had to call you on a land. That's how old, how

Bryan: 21:00

ridiculous. That's how old we are. Is that mom had a a touchstone phone, boop. Yeah. Attached to the wall that was not cellular.

Natalie: 21:08

And if you left the house and something happened, you never knew about it. No. Unless you had a pager. Right. Or an answering machine. If that was even a thing at that point. Right. Yeah. Answering machines. Yep. That's how old we are guys. We make it a point to text and communicate, and I have the privilege of working literally down the hall from you. So during the day, yeah, I will pop in your office and and whatnot. But even before that, our phones, we text, we communicate, we call throughout the. And not excessively. Listen

Bryan: 21:44

that not well. No. Right? The only time I don't really respond to a one or 32nd phone calls if I'm in meetings or,

Natalie: 21:50

yeah. But you always communicate, Hey, can't talk or call in a minute, or whatever. Right. You communicate that you're in the middle of some, this is not like every five seconds. This is just, you know, it sound like lunchtime. I know. And hey, if that works for you, by all means. This is just like we have our checkpoints during the day that we check in with each other. So that, and we were just talking about this, if there was ever a lapse in that communication, this is a norm that we've established. Mm-hmm. for us in our relationship. We communicate all the time. We communicate with our kids, we communicate with each other. They hear us communicating. All the time. Right. So if there was ever a period of time where that wasn't happening, that would send a red flag up in my mind of something's not right. Right, because this is a routine that we've established, and you can't know if there's something amiss. If everything in your relationship is disorganized, everything in your relationship is up in the air. We just w we just wing it as we go. There is no established pattern, right? So maybe this is a time where you in your relationship can establish a normal, healthy pattern so that you are all the more wise. Alerted to the fact if something is wrong,

Bryan: 23:14

right? And.

Natalie: 23:17

and we're not saying, oh my goodness, you missed one time to answer me. You are obviously quietly quitting. No, no, no. This is a pattern over time. Yeah.

Bryan: 23:24

Over time it's, it's like even, it's like when we're not keeping in contact, are you quietly quitting? And it's not just one day, it you're not wrong. It's one time we, we missed it. We didn't communicate and Oh, these and consumed. Yeah. Yeah. But well, if you're living in the same house, the same bed driving the same car, eating the same dinners, and you're not communicating through those things, We're just saying pay attention to look at your relationship. It's very hard. It's hard to come back from that. But not impossible. You have to really want it. Both of you have to really want it. Exactly. Which kind of lends into the next one. Which if you're talking less and less, it also can indicate that you're losing interest in your Yep. In your partner, in your spouse, in them, and who they are. Checking in on a good day, that's so

Natalie: 24:06

important. It's really even checking in, you know, if we've left and. Had a disagreement, one. If not both will always check in regardless of of where they feel they stand. Right? I'm right or I am not. We, we generally make an effort to communicate right. I hope you

Bryan: 24:30

got to work. Yeah. Well, especially like there's adverse winter conditions or, or things like that. We just communicate safety and things like that. I don't wanna have to worry about things like that. But checking is in is important. Not just one of you, but both of you. Checking it and just seeing what's going on and even sitting down like, Hey, let's talk about our relationship. Like Natalie does this all the time to me, sometimes at the worst times, like 10 30 at night, let's talk about the future. I'm like, I don't have the energy to talk about the future. You've seen memes on this. I should put memes on the Instagram page, but this is a real struggle. Like I'm almost asleep and she's like, wanna talk about the house that we want to buy? I'm like, I don't have the energy to think about the house that I want to buy. It's, it's a real thing. What she's showing is that she's still interested in me in the future. That's right. And she's not, she's still communicating with me about those things, and she wants to know what are we gonna do? Then we pray about it, and then we do devotions, and then we communicate those things with our friends that are really close to us. And so I also, like, she updates me on her date. She, in my opinion, has one of the most boring jobs on the face of the earth, but she loves it. Which

Natalie: 25:35

job? Hr. Oh, Yes. I love hr. I am great. You love p. Task administrative, and it drives me crazy. Its me joy. It brings me

Bryan: 25:45

joy. Here's, here's where a moment can happen in your relationship. I listen to her when she tells me about the things that she's learning and the things that she's doing. I don't like hr, I don't really care to know about the paperwork that she pushed but I love her and so I'm gonna sit and listen and sometimes pretend that I'm interested, truthfully be, and she does the same thing when I, I can always tell when she's, we're sitting there like, Hey, look at this guitar. And she looks at them and she's like, ah. Yeah. Cool. And then she looks back to the whatever she's doing, reading or, and she's like, yeah, you don't care. She's like, Nope, not really. We're at that stage in our relationship where we can just say, no, I don't care about that. I love you, but I don't care

Natalie: 26:23

about that. But Right. I love that. You care

Bryan: 26:24

about that. Yeah. And that's the thing, I love that you care about your

Natalie: 26:27

job. That's good. And, and honestly, there are only so many electric guitars. They all begin to look the same. They do

Bryan: 26:32

not look the same Me after

Natalie: 26:34

oldest that I can just, my middle son. All of my energy into, I never get the names right. I'm always like, that is a great Les Paul. No, that was a whatever

Bryan: 26:45

offender. I dunno how you get to mixed 'em up. They don't look the same C what I'm telling you. So she, she tries at least. There

Natalie: 26:51

you go.

Bryan: 26:52

Cause you're not losing interest. You care about the things that

Natalie: 26:55

I care about. I'm effort. I do care about the things that, no, no. Do I wanna spend five hours of my Saturday in a music store looking at guitars? No. Have I. because it matters to you. Oh, yeah. And, and, right. Those are your interests. And we've, we've established a compromise in that way. It's not only about you going and doing everything I wanna do, there is a compromise where sometimes, For the greater mint. Greater mint, I don't know, greater betterment, I don't know. Whatever

Bryan: 27:29

the greater, see, this is where she makes up words greater

Natalie: 27:32

mint, the greater min of our relationship. For me to just be like, is it the end of the world for me to spend maybe not five hours? Can we do like 30 minutes? Guess what we're doing this afternoon? Right. Notice I didn't answer. That was, that was well done, well done. Of compromising on a timeline. Right. Hey, I can't commit to five hours in here, but I will, I'm willing to give you 30 minutes.

Bryan: 27:56

So the, the not talking and communicating less can indicate that you have, you're losing an interest. So those are two points that we want to get to today. You're losing interest and the way, Natalie, if I was to ask you, how, how do we, what are tools that we can use to make this better? Like how, how do.

Natalie: 28:15

For like, not losing interest.

Bryan: 28:17

Well, not losing interest, but talking if you're already in a, in a, if you're already in a holding pattern of we're not, we're not improving the relationship and we're not really communicating with each other already. How do we get better? I can, I, can I say the first one? Sure. You have to eat your pride and just be the first one to text and just make a habit Yes. Of communicating and if change, change your narrative. Yes. You don't, you don't like where it is. You don't like what you're, you're reaping. You have to change what you're sewing

Natalie: 28:42

maybe. and I've had to do this and this is when you're trying to make a better way and trying to forge a different narrative. Sometimes it's really painful and for you to say, Hey, I love, can we talk? Like I love to have like a meeting, but wouldn't it be such a surprise to your partner if you led with, this is something about me that I really don't like. And I am sorry that I've placed X, Y, and Z expectations on you, right? If you led a conversation, trust me, you will be surprised at how that is. Received, reciprocated and received. Yeah. Where you're not coming in the thing going. You, you, you are doing this and I don't like it. No. How about I have noticed about myself or I've been thinking about it and I really I've kind of dropped the ball in this area and I'm sorry. Mm-hmm. can we like, work together to find that's solution that's, yeah. Start.

Bryan: 29:46

Absolutely. That's a really good one to start with. So the two things that we talked about today, if you're noticing in yourself or your partner, are you talking less and less? You're not communicating the way you used to. That's right. And it's been a pattern, not just like, Hey, I missed a couple days cause I worked long hours, or things were going on, or the kids were busy, had to go from place to place. Talking like, your pattern is, you guys just don't communicate issues whenever you're alone. You're just talking about your nothing. That kind of thing. And then the other one was, are you losing interest in each other? And one can lead to the other. That's

Natalie: 30:15

right. And like, and it's not just like, this is the number one, this is the number two. No, they're all interchangeable. Yeah. These

Bryan: 30:19

are all, and the next ones that we have coming up next week are really, really great. And they all work together on, in this particular issue. And so, hey, we really appreciate you. Hanging with us, like I said, and if you didn't have a chance, we did a We Are Back, short little episode just to let you know what our plans are for the future, where we've been for the last little while. So we know that you love the podcast. We appreciate you loving the podcast. We love you guys. So if it means does mean a lot when you share it with your friends. You let people know that we have a podcast and we hope that you're finding value in this. That's the greatest thing. Is it? If you find value and it makes your marriage better, that's what we want. Absolutely. So you can follow us on Instagram and on Facebook. If you have any questions or you have an idea or you just straight up disagree with what we have here, we'd love to have a conversation, a discourse, and maybe if that's something that you disagree with and you wanna bring a different perspective, we'd love to maybe even have you on the podcast. Mm-hmm. But you can email us@amplifiedmarriagegmail.com or you can DM us on Instagram and Facebook and you hear us. Every single time, and we believe this with every fiber of our being because it's been true for us. We believe that your marriage can be reset, refreshed, recharged, and restored. Thanks

Natalie: 31:31

so much for listening.

Bryan: 31:31

Talk to you soon.