Dec. 19, 2023

Season 3 Ep. 10 // "Deck the Halls or Deck Your Sanity? A Holiday Dilemma"

Season 3 Ep. 10 // "Deck the Halls or Deck Your Sanity? A Holiday Dilemma"

In this episode of "Amplified Marriage", we discuss the rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that come with the Christmas season. From the rush of shopping for gifts in crowded malls to the glittery decorations in homes and the financial burden, we delve into the often unspoken difficulties of the holidays. In this episode, we tackle the complexity of family gatherings, which can sometimes feel like an emotional minefield, and the high expectations that surround this particular holiday. ...

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Season 3

In this episode of "Amplified Marriage", we discuss the rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that come with the Christmas season. From the rush of shopping for gifts in crowded malls to the glittery decorations in homes and the financial burden, we delve into the often unspoken difficulties of the holidays. In this episode, we tackle the complexity of family gatherings, which can sometimes feel like an emotional minefield, and the high expectations that surround this particular holiday. Moving beyond that, we also examine the amplified emotions that come with Christmas, especially related to family dynamics, financial stress, and the pressure to maintain a festive spirit.

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WEBVTT

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Picture this.

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It's Christmas, and you're racing through the mall like it's an Olympic sport, trying to find the perfect gift that screams thoughtful, but it whispers, I totally forgot.

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Back at home, your living room looks like it was hit by a glitter bomb.

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Meanwhile, your wallet is weeping softly, mourning its once plump state.

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And let's not forget the family gatherings.

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They're like a game of emotional dodgeball, where you're trying to avoid that one relative's awkward questions, but wait, there's much more.

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Amidst all this, you're expected to cook a feast that would make Gordon Ramsay weep, all the while keeping your festive spirit brighter.

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Then Rudolph's nose.

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So grab your eggnog folks.

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We're about to dive deep into the Holly jolly chaos that is Christmas.

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Let's find out why decking the halls can feel more like decking your sanity.

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Welcome to another episode of amplified marriage.

00:01:06.030 --> 00:01:06.620
I'm Brian.

00:01:06.670 --> 00:01:07.519
I'm Natalie.

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Whatever you're doing, potentially drinking eggnog or sipping some nice spiced rum or enjoying some Christmas music, whatever you're doing, we are so glad that you've joined us today and we are excited to have a good chat with you.

00:01:21.900 --> 00:01:22.349
That's right.

00:01:22.359 --> 00:01:38.420
If you missed last episode, we, we've kind of started our Christmas series and we were talking about children and sort of the financial stresses of having a little money or no money and what could you do, what we did, uh, with our children when we were.

00:01:38.469 --> 00:01:41.519
Uh, experiencing, uh, leaner years,

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leaner, leaner years, uh, as we were kind of just talking about this because we're right in the middle of Christmas, we're probably experiencing a lot of this.

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Um, there's quite a few things around Christmas that are heightened, like the name of the podcast amplified.

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Things are amplified at Christmas and it's, it's an interesting thing to, to talk about because really, because we're Christians, I even preached a message is that Jesus is the reason for the season.

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And for whatever reason, right around this time, there's even the, some of the things we're going to talk about.

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There's this odd expectation for everything that the Christmas gifts are going to be perfect that the family dynamics like are going to be like perfect and harmonious and there's going to be unity in the family even though we fought all year and then this one time a year we come together at on the last month of the year for maybe a week at a time and everything's just going to be hunky dory just like the Hallmark movies like we fought and argued and all the stuff but all Christmas comes and the Christmas spirit changes everything.

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Well, it doesn't, it actually takes those already heightened emotions, already amplified feelings and all that's going on and just makes it worse.

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Like sometimes I would say the season.

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Brings it around

00:03:02.870 --> 00:03:08.030
like the being Christmas invites that kind of

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sometimes, but in, in our experience, like there, there's not really a whole reason as to why, like, well, I think

00:03:17.900 --> 00:03:33.280
you have to, I mean, we're going to dive into like our family dynamics externally from our just immediate, because that's what we're talking about today, but, um, there's a lot of variables and.

00:03:33.435 --> 00:03:45.974
Um, not every, you know, I have spent many Christmases on eggshells because you just didn't know the kind of state of mind that the remainder of your family was in.

00:03:46.034 --> 00:03:46.305
Right.

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And I mean, we were away from family for.

00:03:50.479 --> 00:03:50.960
years.

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Yeah.

00:03:51.509 --> 00:03:58.030
And I think in, in that 12 years, we're only, we only traveled at Christmastime to see them one time.

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No, it was twice.

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We, we came once and my dad couldn't make it down.

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So we ended up flying in.

00:04:04.020 --> 00:04:07.500
And then one time we drove just before Christmas, we were there twice.

00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:10.080
So twice in 12 years, not a lot.

00:04:10.439 --> 00:04:10.900
No.

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And so.

00:04:12.039 --> 00:04:15.629
So at the time, like both sets of families lived where we live.

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And so it was juggling and it was incredibly

00:04:18.490 --> 00:04:19.050
stressful.

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Yeah.

00:04:20.029 --> 00:04:20.220
Yeah.

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Well, and I think we discussed this as we came down, like now we spend every Christmas with our, with my brother in law and my sister and their four kids.

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And it's amazing.

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And my mom and my grandma that are here, but it took the first year or two for us to kind of get.

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past the fact that, Hey, we're not having a Christmas just on our own.

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We're actually now obligated.

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And this is, we love being with our family.

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Hear me when I say this, we have a really good relationship with them, really good relationship with them.

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We love being with them, but there's an obligation that comes at Christmas time.

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And we had to get.

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Past the fact there's an obligation for us to be with them at Christmas, right?

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because we were so used to doing Christmas just on our own and then going to see our friends or Our family that happened to be in the town that we were in right?

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Could I word it more in seven obligation?

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We needed to be intentional.

00:05:06.649 --> 00:05:08.209
Yeah, that's good

00:05:08.420 --> 00:05:16.105
obligation obligation kind of has a negative Um, for me anyways, it kind of has a negative meaning

00:05:16.245 --> 00:05:17.444
considering your family.

00:05:17.444 --> 00:05:18.824
I can see why that obligation would be

00:05:18.964 --> 00:05:20.785
negative with Brian's family.

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It's not an, uh, an obligatory thing.

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It's more of, okay, it's not, it's not just us and us coming and going as we please doing what we want.

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Although we can still do what we want.

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We're intentional about spending time with our family because it's a value to us.

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Absolutely.

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And so there's, there, we just want to go through a few things, um, that people are going to, that you're going to struggle with.

00:05:41.555 --> 00:05:47.535
And we'll talk a little bit of our own families as we get through this, but the very first one we've mentioned it a couple of times is there's high expectations.

00:05:48.084 --> 00:05:57.985
It's interesting that the, I think that at this time of year, there's probably more expectation, high expectations in any other holiday.

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I would agree.

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Easter, Thanksgiving, uh, because all together.

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For us, we want to give good gifts to our kids, and I've been the recipient in my own growing up years of, of just the opposite of not great gifts.

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And so I'm really intentional about paying attention throughout the year.

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What do my children like?

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What are they into?

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Yeah.

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What speaks to their heart so that when I'm gift giving, um, it makes sense to them.

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It's not just stuff that I like and I hope it lands no, but like

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I bought them these shoes because I really liked them on them and they're like, well, I don't want those shoes because

00:06:39.100 --> 00:06:40.740
that's not, that's not what I asked for.

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And yes, it's not about the gifts, although there, there is like, if I'm.

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Giving gifts to my kids.

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I want them to be good gifts.

00:06:48.064 --> 00:06:48.295
Yeah.

00:06:48.774 --> 00:06:52.204
Oh, yeah, and but no matter what there's a high expectation And

00:06:52.204 --> 00:06:55.305
I think that oh, yes, cuz I struggle with Did I do enough?

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What if they don't like it even though they asked for it?

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But what if it, what if they just said they wanted it, but didn't really want it.

00:07:00.555 --> 00:07:02.384
And so I do this whole

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song and dance that, that I, I understand, but I don't fully, I mean, it's not fully in for me to be like, that's just not part of like, I get it, but I'm not like sold on that.

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Like the kids have always loved everything we've always gotten.

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They've never not.

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And I think, well, and that's just, you know, wounds from my own.

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Yeah.

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Growing up years that, I mean, I realized I, I project in that moment.

00:07:31.889 --> 00:07:32.339
So how,

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how, how, what do you mean by that?

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Like what, what kind of wounds are you, have gotten you to that place where, when we have our own kids?

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Cause I would say that you don't, you may project the anxiety of the gift giving, but you don't, you don't produce the consequences of the gift giving.

00:07:50.360 --> 00:07:50.740
Okay.

00:07:50.790 --> 00:07:51.399
I see what you mean.

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Yes.

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Okay.

00:07:52.079 --> 00:07:54.814
So then I project the anxiety and it stresses me out.

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And it's with anybody.

00:07:56.795 --> 00:07:57.975
Yeah, it is with anyone.

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It's not just a Christmas.

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It doesn't

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matter.

00:08:00.714 --> 00:08:01.035
See,

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here's, here's, here's the thing about Christmas though, is if you take a big dinner, um, gift giving special holidays, extra gifts, family coming in all of those things on their own, don't really.

00:08:12.584 --> 00:08:17.355
are can be anxiety inducing, but they're not, they're not big on their own.

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They're not huge.

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You take all five or six of these things and slam them into one holiday.

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And then you got anxious about all those things.

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And so when the gifts come around, you're like, man, I hope I did the right thing.

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Exactly.

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And so then I am.

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Um, it's just incredibly uncomfortable for me whenever someone's opening a gift.

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I bought them.

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Yeah.

00:08:36.179 --> 00:08:36.409
Yeah.

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And to this day, I still struggle in that area of just, you know, because I just, maybe that'll be a different podcast

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where I'm going.

00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:51.509
I know.

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And I think that the.

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When the expectations aren't met in, as in anything in life, but in the amplified state of Christmas, there's this, when they're not met, you just, you feel like you're disappointed or you're going to be stressed out.

00:09:04.205 --> 00:09:07.784
I can tell you safely for 24 years, we've been together.

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I've never had a gift from you that I've not liked or that didn't, that didn't hit home.

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That wasn't the right one.

00:09:13.784 --> 00:09:16.495
And that, but that's also because of who we are.

00:09:17.044 --> 00:09:24.784
And how we try to live our life with contentment and integrity and honor, and you're going to find the right things for me and you're thoughtful and you're going to think, but that takes time.

00:09:25.125 --> 00:09:25.534
Yes.

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And that takes reassurance.

00:09:28.434 --> 00:09:28.865
Right.

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Right.

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And so you've never given me a reason to, for me to doubt even when I was to you biggest jerk.

00:09:35.504 --> 00:09:35.884
Yeah.

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And, and even the kids, like they've never given me a reason to feel this way.

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This is just, and I think if I'm doing.

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Uh, self reflection, I feel like I've gotten a lot better as time has gone on where, where I'm confident.

00:09:56.144 --> 00:09:56.455
Yeah.

00:09:57.424 --> 00:10:02.644
I would, I would say that you're, you're at your most confident right now when you give the gifts cause you know, that's what they want.

00:10:02.664 --> 00:10:02.865
But

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there was a time where, um, It was, it caused incredible anxiety to even think about a gift and then you're stressing about it all night long.

00:10:14.355 --> 00:10:19.534
And then other family are opening their gifts and they're like, Oh my gosh, it's amazing.

00:10:19.544 --> 00:10:25.544
And then there have been times where it has come to my gift and it has just not, and

00:10:25.544 --> 00:10:31.835
that's, that's part of the, the projection from what's happened with your family, right?

00:10:33.009 --> 00:10:37.210
That's part, I guess the projecting is, is stems from the reality of

00:10:37.220 --> 00:10:40.049
what has happened and the wounds and the trauma of those moments.

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I've been there in the room when that's happened and I have spoken up and said something while you were in tears because of the gift that was thoughtful that was actually spoken by said person was what they wanted, but made you feel like garbage in that moment.

00:10:55.460 --> 00:10:57.309
And then even your dad was upset.

00:10:57.320 --> 00:10:58.980
He's like, how can you possibly say that?

00:10:58.990 --> 00:10:59.980
I remember that.

00:11:00.134 --> 00:11:13.384
So it's those moments that you remember in your history that now, but you've never, you've never projected that you've never put the consequence of that on the kids, like made them feel bad or disappointed

00:11:13.495 --> 00:11:16.544
or, yeah, no, this is like, this is just.

00:11:17.154 --> 00:11:22.365
When it, I have to be really cautious and I have to be really mindful of my own state of mind.

00:11:23.044 --> 00:11:28.504
Because family dynamics, um, in my case really sucked.

00:11:28.605 --> 00:11:28.855
Yeah.

00:11:28.945 --> 00:11:30.014
And Christmas time was,

00:11:30.335 --> 00:11:45.394
was, and, and there was, you know, I remember when we first moved here back from, uh, up north and, uh, my dad had just passed away and the excitement and like my, my birthday is Christmas.

00:11:45.465 --> 00:11:48.764
And so there's a level of excitement.

00:11:49.230 --> 00:11:53.070
Um, that I have, and I love my birthday and I love Christmas.

00:11:53.070 --> 00:12:06.590
And so it had been hyped up to be this like big, huge celebratory, you know, we play charades and we play all these games and we dress up and I, I was so excited for our first Christmas back around family.

00:12:07.190 --> 00:12:21.389
To have this whole entire, um, like party I had made it to be an experience and what everyone around me had, had, um, reiterated that this is in fact what we do.

00:12:21.789 --> 00:12:26.590
And so, Um, it was the polar opposite of that.

00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:28.110
We were the only ones dressed up.

00:12:28.139 --> 00:12:32.870
Everyone else was in flannels and no one sort of gave us the memo that no one was dressed up.

00:12:33.019 --> 00:12:36.945
A family was drinking and family was smoking and fighting,

00:12:36.945 --> 00:12:38.960
like fighting, viciously arguing

00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:39.840
and fighting.

00:12:39.850 --> 00:12:41.750
And I, and our kids were little at this time.

00:12:41.750 --> 00:12:50.370
And I just looked at Brian and I'm like, never again will I ever come to this place with my family.

00:12:50.779 --> 00:12:51.549
Oh, we never did.

00:12:51.590 --> 00:12:51.820
And

00:12:51.820 --> 00:12:54.690
we never, we always did the day or two after, but never

00:12:54.759 --> 00:12:55.279
did again.

00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:56.049
Right.

00:12:56.090 --> 00:13:00.940
And it's, it was these ridiculous things of like, you know, Oh, can you guys bring this?

00:13:00.970 --> 00:13:02.070
And then, and then we bring that.

00:13:02.070 --> 00:13:05.080
They're like, well, we already have that sort of nonsense.

00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:07.779
The whole thing was just nonsense and it

00:13:07.779 --> 00:13:08.320
was, yeah.

00:13:08.649 --> 00:13:09.784
And they didn't see it.

00:13:10.945 --> 00:13:17.294
Cause we showed up at what three in the afternoon and already half of them had been drinking since like nine and 10 and they were already arguing and

00:13:17.294 --> 00:13:17.884
fighting.

00:13:18.085 --> 00:13:19.065
We left early.

00:13:19.134 --> 00:13:19.554
I was so

00:13:19.554 --> 00:13:19.865
mad.

00:13:19.884 --> 00:13:20.095
Yeah.

00:13:20.095 --> 00:13:20.695
Yeah.

00:13:20.695 --> 00:13:21.825
That was a very short day.

00:13:22.195 --> 00:13:26.225
So I mean the high expectations for everything and people handle it in their own way.

00:13:26.225 --> 00:13:31.664
And we talked about this next one last week, just on the financial stretches, stresses of Christmas.

00:13:31.674 --> 00:13:34.215
If you listened to the last ones we did talk about.

00:13:34.455 --> 00:13:36.855
Being able to bless your family and your kids with little.

00:13:36.855 --> 00:13:40.404
And how do you do that and how do you approach that and the attitude and perspective?

00:13:41.024 --> 00:13:41.784
Um, you know what?

00:13:41.804 --> 00:13:50.544
If it was one, let's say you can't, I just want to say this before we move on to the next, um, section, but if it's one.

00:13:50.924 --> 00:13:52.575
Handmade gift.

00:13:52.575 --> 00:13:54.225
And that's all that you could do.

00:13:55.465 --> 00:13:56.375
That's enough.

00:13:56.375 --> 00:13:57.105
Yeah.

00:13:57.585 --> 00:13:58.024
Right.

00:13:58.054 --> 00:14:07.195
And, and I'm, I'm speaking to myself because I get caught up too in the hustle bustle of like, well, you know, trying to match.

00:14:07.225 --> 00:14:14.304
It's not keeping up with the Joneses because we're not those people, but there, there is an element of like, well, you know, one gift doesn't seem enough.

00:14:14.945 --> 00:14:15.284
Right.

00:14:15.294 --> 00:14:16.794
And then like, where does it stop?

00:14:16.825 --> 00:14:17.095
Yeah.

00:14:17.205 --> 00:14:17.485
I know.

00:14:17.524 --> 00:14:21.434
And, and to be okay and content with one gift, most definitely.

00:14:21.875 --> 00:14:22.644
Can be enough.

00:14:22.705 --> 00:14:23.014
Yeah.

00:14:23.514 --> 00:14:26.485
And so the financial stress, we've already talked quite a bit about that.

00:14:26.495 --> 00:14:27.815
Finally, family dynamics.

00:14:27.825 --> 00:14:28.544
This is the next one.

00:14:28.605 --> 00:14:30.215
And this is a hard one.

00:14:30.225 --> 00:14:40.095
Well, and we're no matter what we're doing, because Christmas oftentimes is about family, family dynamics are going to be wrapped up in all that we do in the high expectations in the financial stresses.

00:14:40.615 --> 00:14:41.179
Um, yeah.

00:14:41.690 --> 00:14:42.230
Like I said,

00:14:42.230 --> 00:14:48.500
even at the alcohol, like in our family, you add alcohol to the mix and that just opens all kinds of wounds that you thought were dealt with.

00:14:48.850 --> 00:14:49.220
Right.

00:14:49.220 --> 00:14:50.649
Because they're like, you remember that time?

00:14:51.090 --> 00:14:51.279
Right.

00:14:51.539 --> 00:14:53.340
And then they say things and they do things.

00:14:53.340 --> 00:14:55.070
And cause we're, we're not those kinds of drinkers.

00:14:55.590 --> 00:15:00.750
Um, and so for us, it was, it was actually sit back and watch other people make fools of themselves.

00:15:00.750 --> 00:15:10.639
That was quite amusing for us, but it's still at some point it's just, okay, it's a little bit overboard, but this is what happens at Christmas time is there's really high expectations, expectations.

00:15:11.095 --> 00:15:19.394
Then they come and instead of it being the unifying push that they hope it was, it ends up just being a fight.

00:15:19.404 --> 00:15:23.205
And then they walk away even more angry than the one that came sometimes, not all the time.

00:15:23.205 --> 00:15:26.615
Maybe, maybe your family is perfect and this never happens and we would love

00:15:26.615 --> 00:15:30.065
to say bless you because that is a rarity.

00:15:30.429 --> 00:15:30.450
Yeah.

00:15:30.610 --> 00:15:30.820
I

00:15:30.830 --> 00:15:31.330
would think so.

00:15:31.490 --> 00:15:31.789
Yeah.

00:15:32.350 --> 00:15:34.559
A rarity as in it, it happens a lot.

00:15:34.870 --> 00:15:37.529
It just, that wasn't our experience with your family in particular.

00:15:37.799 --> 00:15:38.169
No.

00:15:38.179 --> 00:15:38.580
Right.

00:15:39.129 --> 00:15:43.110
And so the family dynamics that you're going to experience in every family is going to be different.

00:15:43.110 --> 00:15:50.009
There's going to be a brother and sister, maybe the fight or a mom and a daughter that are maybe in an argument at the time or just their stress.

00:15:50.009 --> 00:15:50.679
There's tension.

00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:52.259
Um, as the kids get like.

00:15:52.370 --> 00:15:57.850
at every age, I would say from like bottom up, it's a different type of dynamic.

00:15:58.210 --> 00:16:09.110
Our dynamic now with our kids is so much fun because it's conversation and laughing and joking and, and that, but there was a time where it just was stressful because they're small and they're into everything and they're, and they

00:16:09.110 --> 00:16:14.250
need like nap times and bedtimes and you can't stay late and you feel bad and right.

00:16:14.794 --> 00:16:20.284
I mean, on one hand, it was really convenient because it meant that our stay was short.

00:16:20.784 --> 00:16:21.784
We're like, Oh, we got to take

00:16:21.784 --> 00:16:22.575
the kids home for a nap.

00:16:22.595 --> 00:16:24.215
We talked about our sanity.

00:16:24.245 --> 00:16:24.514
Yeah.

00:16:24.754 --> 00:16:27.475
Uh, that was incredibly helpful.

00:16:27.845 --> 00:16:36.225
And now it's, we're just in a different space and, and our holiday seasons are peaceful.

00:16:36.284 --> 00:16:36.534
Yeah.

00:16:37.105 --> 00:16:44.174
And, and so with all of that comes, I mean, the normal busy schedules, which is interesting because our, our schedule.

00:16:44.580 --> 00:16:46.919
Um, slows down because we're, we're pastors.

00:16:47.149 --> 00:16:53.440
And so at, at our church, all the groups have already finished except for one, um, everything's kind of chill.

00:16:53.620 --> 00:17:00.600
We're moving on, but then all of a sudden you're, you're connecting with more people because it's close to Christmas and they want to get a visit in before the new, the new year.

00:17:00.799 --> 00:17:06.230
So you end up doing more and then there's skating and then there's family coming in before Christmas cause they can't be here for Christmas.

00:17:07.099 --> 00:17:10.970
So it's just a whole thing and it can be overwhelming, exhausting and so you end up getting tired.

00:17:11.315 --> 00:17:14.894
And you get emotional and you get all of that is just tough.

00:17:14.924 --> 00:17:29.005
And we like in both Brian's family and our immediate family here, there's nothing wrong with taking like sort of putting yourself in a timeout and, and just a recharge.

00:17:29.025 --> 00:17:31.615
And I know, um, our nephew needs a recharge.

00:17:31.654 --> 00:17:33.654
Our own sons need recharges.

00:17:33.664 --> 00:17:37.835
My husband needs a recharge where you just kind of are like, okay, there's so much.

00:17:37.970 --> 00:17:45.259
Happening happiness, but happening that it can be just overwhelming with just the level

00:17:45.470 --> 00:17:46.059
of noise.

00:17:46.089 --> 00:18:00.569
And I think that it, and having that good relationship with the family that you're going to have that with, like, cause with my sister and my brother in law, Jeremy and Katie, they'll just be like, Hey, do you mind if you just come back, come in like an hour or two later, we just need to have a morning where we eat breakfast together and we just

00:18:00.569 --> 00:18:00.970
chill.

00:18:01.130 --> 00:18:04.589
And I love that because that sets, it sets the tone.

00:18:04.589 --> 00:18:24.900
And not only like, they are, um, Valuing their family time and, and we are also at this end valuing our family time and um, allowing just some space for the kids to just play or whatever in before the families get together.

00:18:24.900 --> 00:18:30.980
Cause when we do, we have a lot of fun and it's, I say organized chaos, organized

00:18:30.980 --> 00:18:31.349
chaos.

00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:33.410
There's 12 of us on one space.

00:18:33.410 --> 00:18:33.589
Yeah.

00:18:33.589 --> 00:18:34.309
It's pretty awesome.

00:18:34.369 --> 00:18:38.150
Uh, I would, I would actually, I'm going to wrap up a busy schedules.

00:18:38.490 --> 00:18:46.809
with the lack of personal space and time sometimes and put them together because it's the time of year like this.

00:18:47.009 --> 00:18:56.210
We, we are, we love our weekends because we get to spend it with the kids and then they have drama and then we do church and it's just this last week and my dad came down with my brother and my nephews.

00:18:56.220 --> 00:18:57.089
It was fantastic.

00:18:57.099 --> 00:18:58.180
We had such a good time.

00:18:58.430 --> 00:19:03.480
We had an absolute blast, but it was like, like as soon as they showed up, it was just a whirlwind weekend.

00:19:03.490 --> 00:19:04.970
And so you're busy, busy, busy, busy.

00:19:04.970 --> 00:19:10.190
And there's just not, well, at Christmas time, sometimes people are staying for like a week or 10 days and it's this overwhelming.

00:19:10.450 --> 00:19:21.660
And not only is your schedule busy cause, and if you're coming from a blended family, you might be hitting up multiple homes when we were young, I was doing Christmas with my dad and then I was doing Christmas with my mom.

00:19:22.204 --> 00:19:27.194
And then when we would come here for holidays, we were doing a Christmas with us and my mom and then going to your parents.

00:19:27.644 --> 00:19:31.164
And so it's a lot of turkey and I didn't mind that so much in the eating and the food,

00:19:31.474 --> 00:19:33.724
but it can be just over like

00:19:33.734 --> 00:19:34.295
too much.

00:19:34.355 --> 00:19:40.434
It's overwhelming and that's where people hit their limit sooner because it's intense and it's just all at one time,

00:19:41.954 --> 00:19:48.615
which then can lead to some real challenges with your mental health and where you are emotionally.

00:19:49.845 --> 00:19:50.174
Right.

00:19:50.355 --> 00:19:54.795
And the stress and the busyness and busyness doesn't have to be that you're just go, go, go.

00:19:54.815 --> 00:19:57.974
It could just be like, we're getting in the car and we're driving to the next location.

00:19:57.984 --> 00:19:58.214
Yeah.

00:19:58.605 --> 00:19:58.875
Yeah.

00:19:58.914 --> 00:19:59.265
Right.

00:19:59.295 --> 00:20:01.724
And it can be, um,

00:20:01.795 --> 00:20:03.035
not necessarily out and about.

00:20:03.255 --> 00:20:07.484
You get to be at home, wrapping gifts, baking, just going, going, going, kids have to go here.

00:20:07.545 --> 00:20:08.855
You know, and if you're.

00:20:09.309 --> 00:20:18.430
If you're suffering or there's been, you know, where there's tension in your family and things like that, that just adds to the mental strain, right?

00:20:18.549 --> 00:20:21.690
And it just, it ends up taking up so much of it.

00:20:21.710 --> 00:20:33.480
So if you're, if, if you're someone who already, we're going to get to one application that I think that we really need to talk about that is, is the big one, but if you're already struggling with say depression or anxiety.

00:20:33.970 --> 00:20:51.900
Or you're already frustrated, loneliness, and you're hitting this time of year and all this is going to happen at one time and your mental health is just about to get bettered because everyone's there, um, and take, take, take, take, and it's, yeah, and it's a lot of take and not a lot of give or a lot of give and a lot of, and people are taking from you all the time.

00:20:52.490 --> 00:20:56.039
And like the one thing that, so that's that like mental health issues.

00:20:56.059 --> 00:21:00.930
We understand that this time of year, the other one is, is that there's a lot of people that have had family.

00:21:01.325 --> 00:21:06.184
Pass away right around Christmas and every year it just brings up more, Oh, they're not here.

00:21:06.184 --> 00:21:06.414
Yeah.

00:21:06.454 --> 00:21:07.914
A tragedy of some sort.

00:21:07.944 --> 00:21:08.194
Yeah.

00:21:08.615 --> 00:21:27.244
And, and that opens a whole, um, another realm of either you're isolating and secluding yourself or sort of numbingly going through all of the busyness because it keeps your mind off of actually processing.

00:21:27.819 --> 00:21:42.309
Whatever the tragedy might be and, and you know, they're the first, like if you've lost someone the first Christmas, the first birthday, the first Thanksgiving, all of those are awful that first year, uh, to go through and, and sometimes it's awful for multiple years.

00:21:42.700 --> 00:21:43.160
Right.

00:21:43.170 --> 00:21:45.240
And so just being aware.

00:21:45.299 --> 00:21:49.559
It's okay to say no.

00:21:49.650 --> 00:21:51.039
Yeah, that's true.

00:21:51.410 --> 00:21:58.549
And to, to have the freedom to say this is not, I just, I'm operating at

00:21:58.549 --> 00:21:59.410
20 percent right now.

00:21:59.420 --> 00:22:03.380
And to even say to your family that certain behavior is not okay.

00:22:03.779 --> 00:22:04.009
Yes.

00:22:04.140 --> 00:22:19.549
Certain response, remarks, or, um, before we get into this, if you notice in every one of these, these topics, things that we've all experienced that you and I as a couple have experienced, if you notice the one thing in every single one of these things.

00:22:20.809 --> 00:22:25.720
it, you have to have good, healthy boundaries on each one of these.

00:22:25.950 --> 00:22:27.170
100%.

00:22:27.309 --> 00:22:32.549
And so it really, this is about what is it that the title that I was just kind of reading is like jingle bells, jingle hell.

00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:33.359
Yeah.

00:22:33.390 --> 00:22:33.619
Right.

00:22:33.619 --> 00:22:38.200
And that can be, um, I mean, that, that resonated with our experience,

00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:40.369
but it, it's all about.

00:22:40.924 --> 00:22:41.494
Boundaries.

00:22:41.545 --> 00:22:48.734
And you're, you're, if one thing, there's a, there's this odd, I don't, and it's hard to explain.

00:22:49.434 --> 00:23:00.305
It seems with family that more often than not, we're willing to tolerate so much more abuse and, and abuse, abuse is probably a strong word.

00:23:00.345 --> 00:23:02.484
And in some cases it really is abuse.

00:23:02.964 --> 00:23:07.825
I would say in some cases, even in your family, the way they talk to each other was, was abuse.

00:23:08.275 --> 00:23:11.355
The way that they tried to talk to us was probably abuse.

00:23:11.734 --> 00:23:14.384
But in some cases, it's just how it's the normal.

00:23:14.414 --> 00:23:39.744
So the exception where you wouldn't tolerate most of you, most people that I know wouldn't tolerate that from anyone else, but in family, they're just willing to take this beating and this, uh, like you're willing to take the verbal, uh, assault on your parenting or your husband's or your, your wife, or how you did this or how you cook the dinner you're willing to take at, at, at not just Christmas, but just with your family in general.

00:23:39.954 --> 00:23:40.684
And I would say.

00:23:41.625 --> 00:23:49.464
If this is you consider putting up boundaries because that'll definitely help your mental health and emotional health and spiritual health.

00:23:49.545 --> 00:23:50.115
A hundred percent.

00:23:50.154 --> 00:23:57.365
And it's very hard to do that when you are ingrained to not speak up for yourself.

00:23:57.404 --> 00:23:57.775
Right.

00:23:57.934 --> 00:23:58.595
And so.

00:23:59.634 --> 00:24:06.164
The greatest gift you can give to yourself and give to your children is no, is, is setting.

00:24:06.234 --> 00:24:07.144
Well, yes.

00:24:07.184 --> 00:24:21.305
No is now my favorite word and not to be flippant with it, but for my own taking control of my decision making and not having it made for me is what it boils down to.

00:24:21.335 --> 00:24:29.890
And so being able to, uh, to assert yourself and, and say, Hey, Um, you know, talk it over with your family.

00:24:30.369 --> 00:24:39.819
I mean like your kids and your husband or whatever ahead of time going, all right, this is how much energy I have to contribute to this outing we're going to with my family.

00:24:40.750 --> 00:24:45.759
I have two hours max so, and we literally had code words.

00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:50.759
It sounds so ridiculous 49ers, right?

00:24:51.009 --> 00:24:51.710
Whatever it was.

00:24:51.710 --> 00:24:53.289
I can't even remember at this point.

00:24:53.630 --> 00:24:55.930
Um, but we had, we had a look.

00:24:56.210 --> 00:25:00.720
We had whatever, and if it got out of hand, it was wrapped up and we were done.

00:25:00.859 --> 00:25:08.910
So just what you said, the three, the three boundaries that I think we should talk about that not in the notes, just something that I had written down somewhere else.

00:25:08.910 --> 00:25:12.710
And I just, I went back and found it was this, it's one, what you just said, there's a time management.

00:25:13.069 --> 00:25:13.099
Yep.

00:25:13.109 --> 00:25:13.579
Yes.

00:25:14.410 --> 00:25:27.849
When you know that, Hey, we're getting there at six and by eight o'clock we have to be home because the kids need to, whatever reason you gave, that is the best thing that you can do for yourself, especially when you're in already an environment that you're already stressed out, stressed out about.

00:25:27.880 --> 00:25:29.430
Maybe it's a mental thing for you.

00:25:29.450 --> 00:25:30.309
Maybe it's an emotional thing.

00:25:30.309 --> 00:25:36.430
You're just what, but if you give yourself a timeline and say, Hey, mom or dad or uncle or aunt, I got to be out of here by eight o'clock.

00:25:36.450 --> 00:25:36.750
I've been here.

00:25:36.829 --> 00:25:37.920
And we just got here at six.

00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:38.240
Yeah.

00:25:38.759 --> 00:25:40.059
I just need to be out of here by eight.

00:25:40.059 --> 00:25:40.970
This is what's happening.

00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:42.279
And you don't even have to give a reason.

00:25:42.329 --> 00:25:42.440
Nope.

00:25:43.279 --> 00:25:43.880
Absolutely.

00:25:43.890 --> 00:25:48.079
Like, you don't need to justify why you are or aren't going to

00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:48.670
stay.

00:25:48.720 --> 00:25:49.019
Yep.

00:25:49.670 --> 00:26:00.690
And, and this is, this is the hard thing about setting boundaries is because it, it, there, when you're setting a boundary, like a time management boundary, it, it opens a door for conflict and which what people don't want to do.

00:26:01.190 --> 00:26:01.440
Right.

00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:05.059
But you're also saying by saying that and saying that.

00:26:06.390 --> 00:26:07.450
I'm coming to your house.

00:26:07.500 --> 00:26:08.190
I want to be gone.

00:26:08.190 --> 00:26:08.910
I'm here at six o'clock.

00:26:08.920 --> 00:26:12.529
I want to be gone by eight, not only opening up the door for conflict for you to be like, well, that's stupid.

00:26:12.529 --> 00:26:12.940
I don't want you.

00:26:12.970 --> 00:26:19.819
I wouldn't want you to stay here until 10, but you're also saying to them, Hey, well, they're looking after themselves and they're standing up for themselves.

00:26:20.424 --> 00:26:25.625
So it's not just, it's not just one thing while time management, it's no, there's a few things that happen when you self care.

00:26:25.625 --> 00:26:26.664
And that's so important.

00:26:26.694 --> 00:26:32.884
If you, if you find yourself incredibly anxious over the holiday season, self care is super important.

00:26:32.904 --> 00:26:33.134
Yeah.

00:26:33.424 --> 00:26:36.734
And, and it's okay to protect yourself even from your own family.

00:26:37.115 --> 00:26:40.285
I know this might not be one of those that like, Oh, I can't believe they said this.

00:26:40.285 --> 00:26:42.069
Well, well, until you've lived it.

00:26:42.849 --> 00:26:50.549
We've hit some toxic families in our toxic family time and a time in our life and we understand the importance of so one is time management.

00:26:50.559 --> 00:26:53.859
The next one is you actually can set the conversation topics.

00:26:55.240 --> 00:26:58.930
And we were very strategic with that.

00:26:59.140 --> 00:27:02.930
And so, I mean, with the kids being there, it was more geared.

00:27:03.400 --> 00:27:13.099
You know, there was less likely in my family to be some kind of funny business if my kids were present.

00:27:14.170 --> 00:27:14.509
Right.

00:27:14.509 --> 00:27:18.799
It's like, well, the kids, the littles are here and so we need to be like on our best behavior.

00:27:18.819 --> 00:27:18.859
Yeah.

00:27:19.390 --> 00:27:20.480
So take advantage of that.

00:27:20.724 --> 00:27:21.075
Yep.

00:27:21.525 --> 00:27:22.075
Absolutely.

00:27:22.075 --> 00:27:23.305
You're panicked about it.

00:27:23.305 --> 00:27:29.174
And we like colored and we did puzzles and set up the kids with like Christmas movies and stuff like that.

00:27:29.184 --> 00:27:33.785
And really we set the pace and we set the topics.

00:27:34.515 --> 00:27:43.805
And if there was a topic that that came up or, um, that we were not comfortable going to, cause we could just foresee this.

00:27:44.565 --> 00:27:46.535
being a spiraling into an argument.

00:27:46.795 --> 00:27:47.734
We just redirect

00:27:47.734 --> 00:27:47.964
it.

00:27:48.125 --> 00:27:48.394
Right.

00:27:48.644 --> 00:27:51.894
And we also there's there's time like certain family members.

00:27:51.904 --> 00:28:05.609
Everyone has that one uncle that Um, doesn't understand, uh, read the room and, or has a dad or has a, uh, an auntie or a brother that's just doesn't read the room.

00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:07.009
We'll talk about anything.

00:28:07.059 --> 00:28:13.410
We'll actually find the thing that is most uncomfortable for you and want to talk about that and push those boundaries.

00:28:13.460 --> 00:28:19.039
And it's okay to say either you clap back when they speak up or be like, Hey, we're not going to talk about that.

00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:20.420
That's right now.

00:28:20.420 --> 00:28:39.055
That's not something we can talk about, especially in nowadays when, um, Unless you are willing to have just a normal civil discourse, like me and my brother in law, we don't agree all the time on things, but I can have a great conversation with him and he's so smart at stuff that I can, I'm actually challenged by it and I hope I challenge him vice like vice versa, but not everyone can do that.

00:28:39.095 --> 00:28:39.585
No.

00:28:39.825 --> 00:28:40.105
Right.

00:28:40.105 --> 00:28:47.585
And, and so you want to, to, and if you can't have that one uncle, cause oftentimes you know the uncle I'm talking about, that one uncle, that's just a jerk.

00:28:47.835 --> 00:28:48.914
We'll push the boundaries.

00:28:48.914 --> 00:28:51.255
We'll say things just to, to make people angry.

00:28:51.505 --> 00:28:53.714
We'll just say things so they can get that response out.

00:28:53.755 --> 00:28:54.404
The one that does it.

00:28:54.599 --> 00:29:00.960
Every family gathering that you're at and the one that he should be sitting in his car, not talking to anyone because they're kind of rude, right?

00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:03.069
And so you can control the topics in your own house.

00:29:03.099 --> 00:29:05.690
And when the boundaries are crossed, you can say, Hey, that's enough.

00:29:05.980 --> 00:29:10.230
If this is going to be the thing you can go somewhere else that you're allowed to say these things.

00:29:10.299 --> 00:29:10.519
Yes.

00:29:10.789 --> 00:29:15.769
And you're allowed to like, love yourself enough to, uh, you get what you tolerate.

00:29:16.015 --> 00:29:16.184
Yeah,

00:29:16.954 --> 00:29:17.605
you get it.

00:29:17.644 --> 00:29:17.994
That's right.

00:29:17.994 --> 00:29:18.884
Henry cloud, what

00:29:18.894 --> 00:29:19.714
you tolerate.

00:29:19.744 --> 00:29:30.619
And so if there is, you know, some piping up of whatever for you then to assert yourself and say, you know what, um, We're not discussing this.

00:29:30.619 --> 00:29:33.339
This is not the time or the place to have this conversation,

00:29:33.349 --> 00:29:33.650
right?

00:29:34.089 --> 00:29:40.789
And I think that, uh, like, because you, you may want to avoid like politics or, um, Yeah.

00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:41.589
Vaccines.

00:29:41.900 --> 00:29:42.380
Oh yeah.

00:29:42.390 --> 00:29:44.920
Mask or no mask, personal finances.

00:29:45.299 --> 00:29:51.779
Maybe they're giving you bad advice or you're not unasked, unasked advice on how to parent your kids or how she used to just discipline them.

00:29:51.779 --> 00:29:52.799
Your career choice.

00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:53.720
You're still at that job.

00:29:53.750 --> 00:29:56.619
Oh, I can't believe that or the lifestyle you're living.

00:29:56.619 --> 00:29:58.079
Oh, you didn't, you don't exercise.

00:29:58.119 --> 00:30:00.170
Oh, I can't believe you're like that kind of thing, right?

00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:04.740
Like you want to, you want to set the boundaries of what you can and can't say before they all show up at your house.

00:30:05.130 --> 00:30:05.539
Exactly.

00:30:05.539 --> 00:30:17.944
And one of the things, you know, back to like Uh, people inserting their parenting ideas who have no kids, um, of just, of we've learned the art of like, thank you for your recommendation.

00:30:18.015 --> 00:30:23.359
And then just completely ignoring it or, and there's nothing wrong with that.

00:30:23.890 --> 00:30:29.089
Or, you know, then choosing, Hey, that actually was a really good idea and I'm going to, I'm going to implement that.

00:30:29.099 --> 00:30:29.700
But it goes

00:30:29.700 --> 00:30:30.369
both ways.

00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:37.650
But so often those parenting tips don't come because you're having a conversation about parenting.

00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:44.490
They come because they saw something that they think with no children, but it may be a degree and like some kind of child rearing thing.

00:30:44.490 --> 00:30:45.819
Oh, I work with kids all day.

00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:49.269
They think that they, because they saw it, they have some.

00:30:51.164 --> 00:30:53.654
It's like, Oh, well, my way would be better, but you're not experiencing it.

00:30:53.654 --> 00:30:55.994
So it's never because, Oh, we're having a conversation.

00:30:55.994 --> 00:30:56.855
What would you do?

00:30:57.244 --> 00:30:59.585
It's because they saw something they didn't like and want to respond.

00:31:00.424 --> 00:31:00.704
Right.

00:31:00.835 --> 00:31:12.714
And the very last one I would say is like in all of this, the boundaries there is, there can be space for privacy, which can kind of time top kind of go in with the, like the topic thing.

00:31:13.275 --> 00:31:15.075
Like, you don't need to talk about your private life.

00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:25.400
Especially if the family's big and there's like 15 or 20 people and only eight of them you actually know really well But you don't have to tell them every what's happening with your boyfriend or what's happening with your girlfriend What are you doing?

00:31:25.400 --> 00:31:26.359
Like what's happening?

00:31:26.660 --> 00:31:28.339
You know,

00:31:28.339 --> 00:31:41.924
I have a saying you're on a need to know basis and you don't need to know and if you need to know you'll know And so there I think Um, keeping guard, especially if you have family that use whatever you say against you.

00:31:41.994 --> 00:31:42.285
Yep.

00:31:42.634 --> 00:31:42.904
Right.

00:31:42.934 --> 00:31:51.065
And I would say, um, communicate your boundaries clearly, uh, early on and early on early as you can.

00:31:51.305 --> 00:31:56.785
So clearly with clear communication, express yourself calmly.

00:31:57.265 --> 00:32:02.315
Um, I just talked to someone tonight that's just running into family, uh, at the day of this recording.

00:32:02.744 --> 00:32:06.625
Um, I ran into, I'm talking to someone on the phone who's struggling with this exact thing.

00:32:06.625 --> 00:32:07.444
And I said, you just got to.

00:32:07.884 --> 00:32:09.325
Not get into a word salad.

00:32:09.384 --> 00:32:11.434
You don't get into an argument, you know, counselor

00:32:11.434 --> 00:32:13.065
said, don't engage in a word

00:32:13.134 --> 00:32:13.505
salad.

00:32:13.734 --> 00:32:21.865
Just talk calmly and firmly when they gaslight, just hit him with the facts and be kind and loving towards them as much as you want to knock them out because they said something they shouldn't.

00:32:22.424 --> 00:32:26.515
Um, but when you communicate them, do those things, just do it clearly, do it calmly.

00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:33.099
You may be nervous, but I would, but I would say stand your ground, fight for peace, fight for the right thing.

00:32:33.109 --> 00:32:37.680
And if they, if they love you, this is the, maybe this is the wrong way to say it.

00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:38.539
In the perfect world.

00:32:38.609 --> 00:32:39.630
In the perfect world.

00:32:40.849 --> 00:32:42.480
I think it's not just love, it's respect.

00:32:42.819 --> 00:32:47.000
If they respect you and they consider your feelings.

00:32:48.099 --> 00:32:59.369
And they consider your needs before their needs, that if you ask them for those things as, as uncomfortable as it is, when someone says, Hey, can you not say that to me?

00:32:59.410 --> 00:33:00.670
Because it actually hurts my feelings.

00:33:00.680 --> 00:33:01.190
You're like, Oh.

00:33:02.015 --> 00:33:07.984
If you're considering the other person and you're deferring to them and what does the Bible say to honor them to honor?

00:33:07.994 --> 00:33:09.065
We say this in our church.

00:33:09.085 --> 00:33:18.349
We're gonna honor up on her down on her all around That means that if my brother in law comes to me says hey you talked Really harshly to one of my kids.

00:33:18.380 --> 00:33:19.309
I didn't really appreciate that.

00:33:19.309 --> 00:33:22.759
I'm like, Oh man, I'm not going to like dig my heels and be like, you're wrong.

00:33:22.769 --> 00:33:23.559
He deserved that.

00:33:23.849 --> 00:33:26.670
And that may be true, but that's not my kid.

00:33:26.750 --> 00:33:27.039
No.

00:33:27.240 --> 00:33:27.529
Right.

00:33:27.539 --> 00:33:32.289
And so I would defer and honor my brother in law and my sister say, this is your house.

00:33:32.430 --> 00:33:32.849
Do you know what?

00:33:32.900 --> 00:33:33.650
I'm you're right.

00:33:34.109 --> 00:33:34.880
I shouldn't have done that.

00:33:34.890 --> 00:33:35.730
I was frustrated.

00:33:36.130 --> 00:33:44.059
And so I'm deferring to their, who they are and how they parent and saying that, that you, Hey, I consider you before I consider me.

00:33:44.200 --> 00:33:44.490
Right.

00:33:44.990 --> 00:33:48.019
And if we do that in the household and the context of all this stuff.

00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:51.509
Setting boundaries is the best thing you'll ever do at

00:33:51.509 --> 00:33:52.119
Christmas time.

00:33:52.190 --> 00:33:57.670
And it honestly sets a, uh, an atmosphere of peace, right?

00:33:58.039 --> 00:33:58.700
Because right.

00:33:58.700 --> 00:34:04.950
You're setting, you're setting the tone for what, what this night or what this week is going to look like.

00:34:05.900 --> 00:34:07.960
And I would say we do understand that.

00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:13.769
Sometimes moms at Christmastime or dads at Christmastime are a lot, right?

00:34:13.829 --> 00:34:17.329
Like just, they're just excited and they love life.

00:34:17.329 --> 00:34:21.429
And you know, parents as they get older, they want things a certain way and we kind of get settled.

00:34:21.429 --> 00:34:29.980
Or maybe that's when your siblings is particularly like, we know that this is the season is a lot, but what you want to do is you want to set those boundaries.

00:34:30.340 --> 00:34:31.960
You need, you need to set those

00:34:31.960 --> 00:34:33.289
boundaries to set those batteries.

00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:33.769
I might.

00:34:33.809 --> 00:34:38.010
Otherwise it's just going to be rocking around the jingle tree, right?

00:34:38.460 --> 00:34:40.059
Jingle bell, jingle hell.

00:34:40.070 --> 00:34:40.579
Exactly.

00:34:40.579 --> 00:34:44.199
It's not our topic, but if you are not our title, but I think maybe it should be, I think

00:34:44.199 --> 00:34:44.750
it should.

00:34:44.949 --> 00:34:47.969
Um, it doesn't have to be that way.

00:34:48.039 --> 00:34:49.269
And that's the encouragement.

00:34:49.320 --> 00:34:49.650
Right.

00:34:49.730 --> 00:34:49.849
You

00:34:49.849 --> 00:34:51.630
have any last things you want to mention?

00:34:53.079 --> 00:34:54.489
Just boundaries.

00:34:55.449 --> 00:34:58.500
I think my notes, I would say just be encouraged that.

00:34:59.545 --> 00:35:22.809
The, the, the way your Christmas is, is if you really struggle at Christmas, it doesn't have to be that way because I was the guy that hated Christmas time for such a long time, because I was between two parents, between two households, one was a, one was a Christian household, one wasn't, and it was like a constant, um, Spiritual battle, I would say, but also like a, a discipline battle.

00:35:22.820 --> 00:35:29.099
Like I would, I would go to one and then have to be brainwashed almost back to the way I was when I came back to the other, but that didn't happen for long.

00:35:29.099 --> 00:35:33.079
I think they finally found some common ground and made it work, but it was

00:35:33.110 --> 00:35:33.619
tough.

00:35:33.900 --> 00:35:35.030
I would say community.

00:35:35.420 --> 00:35:35.599
Yeah.

00:35:35.630 --> 00:35:38.135
If you can find community in like.

00:35:38.375 --> 00:35:49.795
Whether it's a support group or whether it's a church group or a friend group at, at work, whatever, whatever the community looks like for you, um, don't do life alone.

00:35:49.974 --> 00:35:50.594
Absolutely.

00:35:51.644 --> 00:35:52.135
If.

00:35:52.659 --> 00:35:55.559
You really enjoyed this podcast and you like this episode, we love it.

00:35:55.570 --> 00:35:57.170
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00:35:57.440 --> 00:36:03.530
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00:36:03.530 --> 00:36:11.179
Again, if you ever want to chat with us or you have a topic or a question or anything you would like to discuss, please let us know at amplifiedmarriage.

00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:11.699
gmail.

00:36:11.730 --> 00:36:15.179
com or you can Facebook or Instagram.

00:36:15.570 --> 00:36:22.090
And as you've heard us say, we believe that your marriage can be reset, refreshed, recharged and restored.

00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:24.800
Thank you for listening and Merry Christmas.

00:36:24.840 --> 00:36:25.659
Talk to you soon.