Season 3 Ep. 16// "Experiential Intimacy:" How Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Can Save Your Marriage

0:00:01 - (Bryan): You ever plan a great family bonding experience only to regret it five minutes in. That was us a few years ago when we went to this mountain called Spionkop with our kids and our dog. In my head, it was going to be an epic adventure. Fresh air, breathtaking views, and quality time. In reality, it was just straight, pure chaos. I charged ahead because I loved the challenge. My wife, she was trailing behind, giving me that look of just straight, pure regret.

0:00:29 - (Bryan): One kid complained about literally dying. Another declared war in nature and all the bugs. And the third was aggressively attacking a tree with a stick. Then we came to the spot where we thought was the top of the mountain, but nope. I turned, ready to continue, only to find my wife sitting on a rock, kids sprawled around. And she looked at me with this deep anger and said, this was your idea. Fix it.

0:00:52 - (Bryan): And that, my friends, is experiential intimacy. We push through, we laugh at the chaos, and survives all of life's weird experiences. So today we're talking about how shared experiences, whether it's hiking, it's traveling, or just getting everyone out the door on a Sunday morning for church, how those experiences bring you closer together.

0:01:36 - (Natalie): Welcome to another episode of Amplified Marriage. I'm Natalie.

0:01:40 - (Bryan): And I'm Brian.

0:01:41 - (Natalie): Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you hear us say all the time, grab a tea, grab a coffee, get comfy, cozy. We're so glad you joined us for our chat today.

0:01:50 - (Bryan): In case you missed last week's episode or this last episode we did. We talked about intellectual intimacy, how connecting through the same ideas or sharing things. Sharing ideas and sharing conversations and building that meaningful relationships, how important they actually are, how understanding each other's opinions really matter even if you don't agree. And just how those things actually spark a conversation. Spark a conversation, but also bring up mutual, mutual growth for both of you in the relationship, especially when you know each other really well.

0:02:21 - (Bryan): So today we are talking about what, even through the opening, what experiential intimacy is. And I remember before we move on, I just remember we have my brother in law, my sister, they do a really good job of always dating. And it's something that we actually, you and I had to work really hard.

0:02:41 - (Natalie): At being intentional at.

0:02:43 - (Bryan): At being intentional at dating. We were happy not to date until we started dating. Then we realized how much we missed by not being intentional.

0:02:51 - (Natalie): Hold it.

0:02:53 - (Bryan): It's not like we never dated.

0:02:55 - (Natalie): We, we dated a lot, but we didn't invest in, you know, going away for the weekend, just the two of us or. Yeah, yeah, we didn't have the luxury of being able to go away, to spend the night at a hotel together and have the kids be with, you know, relatives or whatever. So in my mind, you equate intentional time together with stuff like that, and you almost. I will. I would almost belittle the things that we were doing.

0:03:30 - (Natalie): So we didn't have those.

0:03:32 - (Bryan): Right.

0:03:32 - (Natalie): Like, we didn't have them the money to be able to do those things. For one and two, we had no one to watch the kids. Our kids were little.

0:03:39 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:03:40 - (Natalie): So we had to be creative. And, you know, you've heard us say lots of times in our podcast, we are, you know, driving around in our car with a coffee, and the kids are in the back, and we're just talking.

0:03:50 - (Bryan): Or McDonald's ice cream.

0:03:51 - (Natalie): Or McDonald's ice cream. Or the kids are on their bikes and we're going for a family walk, but the kids are just a little bit in front of us on their bike so that we can have some intentional quality time moments. So we did that, and we did that very well. But what we didn't see the value in.

0:04:08 - (Bryan): Well, that's good way.

0:04:09 - (Natalie): Was just how important the other stuff was too. And it didn't have to be expensive.

0:04:14 - (Bryan): Yeah, yeah.

0:04:15 - (Natalie): But just, you know, we. We couldn't see it until we experienced it.

0:04:21 - (Bryan): Right. And so even when we're talking about experiential intimacy, what does that look like? We've talked about intellectual, emotional, physical, which isn't sex, but just the different types of emotional. And it's something that couples create through shared activities. Like, straight up, Natalie and I play pickleball. We don't play particularly well, but enough or enough. But we. We play with our friends, and it's a chance for us to get out. And it's really one those moments where you find out how competitive you are and how gracious you are to each other when something doesn't go right.

0:04:54 - (Natalie): It's a great sport if you haven't.

0:04:56 - (Bryan): Tried it, it's a lot of fun. But it includes you finding things. And you heard us talk about this a lot, about common things that you can do together.

0:05:04 - (Natalie): Right.

0:05:04 - (Bryan): And Natalie and I are very different people. We like different things. She's a woman, I'm a man. We don't have the same interest. And I like just different things. Technology and video games and movies and. And just different types of things. And so we had to find some things that we did together, and that one we could do with just us two.

0:05:22 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:05:22 - (Bryan): Then that's why we did the McDonald's ice cream dates, but also funny things that we could do with our kids that were good. But we're gonna focus just on things that we did together. And we never even really, like, even we're talking about experiences like. I'm not talking about just doing the dating thing. I'm talking about. There's something to be said for doing a. An adventure, like a travel adventure that we never really experienced until when, 20.

0:05:44 - (Natalie): 22, I think it was 21 years into our marriage before we actually went on a holiday, just the two of us, where we weren't, you know, going to a city where we had family and staying with family. And it's not really a vacation. We're not talking about that. Like, our first. Leave the kids at home, leave the country, go. We went on a Cruise. It took 21 years to get there.

0:06:08 - (Bryan): To finally be long. We can do this.

0:06:10 - (Natalie): It took a long time to get there. And quite frankly, there was some guilt. There was some guilt that we were leaving our kids behind, because I don't.

0:06:18 - (Bryan): I don't think they're. I don't think that's a we thing. I think that was a youth.

0:06:21 - (Natalie): I felt some guilt.

0:06:22 - (Bryan): I was so. Well, our kids were older.

0:06:24 - (Natalie): I know. And it's like, you know, they. They. They would love this and they would.

0:06:29 - (Bryan): Right.

0:06:29 - (Natalie): They were old enough to be able to experience how much this cost and all of that and be grateful for it. And so there's things that we're like, oh, you know. Yes, we. Absolutely. When we were on the cruise, it was one of those, you know, it was a honeymoon we never had. It was, you know, things that we had talked about wanting to do that that seemed so far off and never would be a reality.

0:06:56 - (Bryan): Right.

0:06:56 - (Natalie): Finally there.

0:06:57 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:06:58 - (Natalie): And I don't regret not taking my kids, but I also. I know that there's gonna come a time where we will all go on a family adventure like that. And I think that that's awesome.

0:07:09 - (Bryan): And I think that if you. What we realized. I wish we would have learned really soon a way sooner was the value of those things like saving the money and then being able to go away and do those things. But there's. Even as we're talking about, there's like two different types of things. There's like the. The experiences that you have every single day, which. The problem with just living life.

0:07:31 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:07:32 - (Bryan): Doing the church thing, or if you're trying. Not church person. Doing the social events and doing is. It becomes. It can become really routine.

0:07:38 - (Natalie): Yes.

0:07:38 - (Bryan): Right. And we're. We're talking. Those are good things as long as you don't let them get familiar and to the point where it's just, oh, we have to do that. This is an obligation.

0:07:48 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:07:48 - (Bryan): But the other part of it is. Is doing things that are new that, that are something you can experience together. Like traveling.

0:07:55 - (Natalie): Right.

0:07:55 - (Bryan): Traveling to new places. Like when we went to Florida, we went with our brother in law. My brother in law, my sister. But we went. We wanted to go to a place that Jeremy had never experienced because he had never been there. But we want to all experience the same thing together.

0:08:09 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:08:09 - (Bryan): And so Natalie and I had never left the country together. Well, we've driven into the States once or twice, but we never really left anywhere on a plane to go into a while. And so we want to experience things together. But what, what is the thing that you can do that's outside of the normal routine that you can do that's even in your own town that actually creates experiences? Like we have that a hundred dollar pass to go kayaking this summer. Yes, kayaking.

0:08:30 - (Natalie): We can do kayaking.

0:08:32 - (Bryan): Oh, that's right.

0:08:32 - (Natalie): Paddleboarding or whatever the electric bikes or.

0:08:34 - (Bryan): Whatever we want to do. Yeah.

0:08:35 - (Natalie): So we're going to utilize that this summer.

0:08:37 - (Bryan): But it's trying new things together. It's even if you're driving.

0:08:41 - (Natalie): We went rock climbing. That was fun.

0:08:43 - (Bryan): We've done rock climbing. We've done hiking in some weird places over the years. We've gone. I've done cliff jumping into the. To the quarry. Yeah. You guys, you were with me for that. Some of the kids were with us for that. But I think it's doing things that are out like that aren't experiential. That are experiential, but outside of your normal. Your normal thing. Your normal routine of life.

0:09:04 - (Natalie): Exactly right.

0:09:05 - (Bryan): And so.

0:09:05 - (Natalie): And it creates memories, but it keeps things exciting.

0:09:08 - (Bryan): Yeah. And it's not. Not boring. So you're not just living in the same house, but you're not really growing or maturing or like trying new things together that actually bring a level of intimacy. Like doing the travel, like trying new activities or what do they say about renov. Renovations. Renovations will make or break your relationship.

0:09:26 - (Natalie): Yeah. We have, we.

0:09:27 - (Bryan): I've done painting.

0:09:29 - (Natalie): We've done painting and I think that was okay. I mean it's just painstaking. And then you know, it's when you're doing stuff like that that you really appreciate the trades people that chose to do that as their career.

0:09:44 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:09:45 - (Natalie): Because it is. There's an art to. It's not Just slapping paint on a wall. Right. There's a technique and there's all of that and it's time consuming and you know, having to wait. None of us are PA patient so having to wait for the paint to dry enough. Enough time to go over it with a second coat. And the idea of it at the time sounds great and sometimes the execution is a whole different reality. Hence the opening with Spy and Cop.

0:10:08 - (Bryan): Right. Like we thought that spying cop was going to be a really good bonding moment for Natalie and I and her family. And it turned out it was a good memory afterwards. It was terrible during.

0:10:19 - (Natalie): Yes, well, for and to the mountains defense.

0:10:25 - (Bryan): You're not going to defend Spy and Cop.

0:10:27 - (Natalie): We. There are two entrances to Spy and Cop. We did not know that. And so we just followed Google Maps to the first entrance and ended up and deeply, deeply regretted it.

0:10:40 - (Bryan): It was essentially from the bottom.

0:10:43 - (Natalie): I would think it was probably at times like a. An 8 to 10% grade.

0:10:50 - (Bryan): I don't know what it was, but Natalie kept on calling it Devil's Mountain or Hell's Mountain.

0:10:54 - (Natalie): It was, you know when. When you're. You can tell at one point there was water flowing down there because it looked like a dry riverbed on the side of a mountain. If you can picture that, where we're literally hanging on to roots and whatever to propel ourselves forward.

0:11:07 - (Bryan): I don't think it was that severe.

0:11:09 - (Natalie): You don't get an opinion in this because this was your idea. But you know, all these years later, we still talk about it, we still laugh about it. The kids, it's a fond memory of theirs.

0:11:21 - (Bryan): And we had one. Our dog was there.

0:11:23 - (Natalie): Molly, our dog had the time of her life. He loved it. And I have to say it was 35 degree heat and we live in a semi arid desert. So you can imagine how unhappy all of us were.

0:11:37 - (Bryan): And also I don't mind the heat and I actually, I enjoy that part of it and you guys just hate it. It was super funny. So it was super funny. We say that now, but it even the things like there's one thing that Natalie and I do because I'm a pastor, but even before I was a pastor is that we always volunteered for events and things at the church. And now I'm a pastor. I still. We still. I still not all of my time is like just right pastor stuff. I volunteer for some of the things that we do. But there's something about you both serving together in the same place. And in our case sometimes I get to serve with my kids in These areas. But Natalie and I get to serve in different areas of the church. One of my favorite things to do at church is just to greet people.

0:12:20 - (Bryan): I'll be standing there sometimes, Natalie will be there with me and we'll just be greeting people as they come in. And it's an opportunity to meet people, to connect with people. But it's one of my favorite things to do. But. Or you're put. We like this last year, tearing out a soup kitchen. Yeah.

0:12:36 - (Natalie): Our pregnancy care center. That's what we do.

0:12:38 - (Bryan): And then this last year, we built things for our church called Bright Christmas, which was this boxes of food and finances and resources for families inside of our church and in our community. So those things actually bring you together because you're serving something bigger than yourself.

0:12:52 - (Natalie): Exactly.

0:12:53 - (Bryan): And so they bring just an intimacy in it. And so I mean, the other things are like. Like deaths and funerals.

0:12:59 - (Natalie): It's not all happy, fun vacations is the only experiential formats that will create intimacy. But.

0:13:08 - (Bryan): Right.

0:13:08 - (Natalie): I mean, I can really recall numerous times where there have been tragedies or disappointments or whatever that, you know, almost have the opportunity to divide.

0:13:23 - (Bryan): Right.

0:13:24 - (Natalie): And. And to create wedges in between you.

0:13:28 - (Bryan): And your spouse, which can happen with probably any situation.

0:13:31 - (Natalie): Exactly. Right. But it doesn't have to. And one of the things that we've worked really hard at and be really intentional is in those moments where it's out of your control to. To never point the finger to the other person.

0:13:52 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:13:52 - (Natalie): Right.

0:13:53 - (Bryan): Like, that's right.

0:13:53 - (Natalie): You're just thinking of two failed businesses that we had. And I say we because we're a.

0:13:58 - (Bryan): Team and you were in it with.

0:13:59 - (Natalie): Me, we're in it with you. And you know, we had established from the very beginning that should this go south and should this not work out, this is not going to be then where I switch sides and be like, this is your fault. And da, da, da.

0:14:12 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:14:13 - (Natalie): You know, did I voice concerns when I had them? 100.

0:14:17 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:14:17 - (Natalie): But at the end of the day, I trusted you.

0:14:22 - (Bryan): Right.

0:14:23 - (Natalie): And I know. I know that. I know that. I know that you would never steer our family in knowingly into a situation that would create financial rune or anything like that.

0:14:35 - (Bryan): Right.

0:14:35 - (Natalie): That is not who you are. And so though I was like, oh, I like I had some apprehensions, I was like, okay, I am, you know, my typical self is very skeptical of everything and everyone. And so maybe I'm just viewing that through that lens and that's not fair either. So when. And things did go south both times yeah. And it was one of those things where, you know, it was a pr. I mean, it was a prime setup to be able to be like, yeah, I told you. And you never listened and da da, da, da, da.

0:15:07 - (Natalie): It just never entertained the thought to go there. We're in it together. So if we're succeeding, we're succeeding together. And if it's a time for a lesson to be learned, then we're learning the lesson together.

0:15:19 - (Bryan): And, and like even I like that you brought that up. There's, it's not just the, the extra experiences you do because like a death is outside of normal routine.

0:15:28 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:15:29 - (Bryan): Marriages are outside of not, not everyone's getting married every day. So that's an outside of normal routine. Job loss, extended family struggles. We've experienced a ton of that. That's been a real struggle. We had business issues. We've not lost. We had a miscarriage. And that brought us closer together than, rather than further. And then you got the positives like we, you do for the first time together. Like we did our first cruise together. We did Disney with the kids together. And then we went to Florida together with the kids and Silver and my brother and my brother in law, my sister. And so there's lots of first experiences. But there's a benefit that comes with all these things.

0:16:04 - (Bryan): And I would say that you're not trying to overload your marriage with, with good things so that when the time comes you can look back and be like, look at all the good things we did.

0:16:15 - (Natalie): Right.

0:16:16 - (Bryan): And say that outweighs the bad. We should stay together when, when things get tough. I'm just saying that these things actually lead to a place where you look and you're like, these are good things. These are the, this is the fun we have. The laugh, the, the crying together, all of that Stu. And it actually builds into your relationship. And that's the benefit of doing that type of, or of having experiences together, but making every opportunity positive or negative, good or bad, routine or not routine as a part of.

0:16:47 - (Bryan): How do you look at, what's your perspective on this? Is this going to break us or is this going to bring us together?

0:16:51 - (Natalie): Well, and I think right there, having that conversation, what, what do. Out of positive experiences? Because, you know, just because you're on vacation doesn't mean that, that, you know, there isn't bickering or there isn't arguing or there isn't things that come up to like kind of put a damper on your fun. Right. Well, conversations like what, what is our goal in this Are we going to work through it quickly so that we can move past this and then continue on with the fun stuff?

0:17:25 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:17:26 - (Natalie): And then on the negative side of it, are we going to work together through all the feelings? Work together through the negative, like the negativity or the disappointment or the grief.

0:17:37 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:17:38 - (Natalie): Work through that. Not so that you can then just, you know, and the next day move on to greater fun. But there's a process, I think, to both sides.

0:17:46 - (Bryan): Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

0:17:48 - (Natalie): And one of the conversations that we had had was like, okay, this is what we don't want to happen out of this. Okay. You know, in tragedies and life's just. Life happening, and it just is crappy at times.

0:18:01 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:18:02 - (Natalie): We don't want to be each other's. Like, you're not the enemy in this situation.

0:18:06 - (Bryan): Right.

0:18:07 - (Natalie): And we really have to be intentional about remembering that when it pops up.

0:18:13 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:18:14 - (Natalie): And have the conversation about what is our. What is our motivations for how we articulate what is. And really kind of break it down. Which sounds.

0:18:24 - (Bryan): Well, even a lot of work. But it is a lot of work. But I would say that. And I bet you there's other people that had the same issue. We fought over a lot of the little things.

0:18:33 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:18:34 - (Bryan): That actually were divisive to us that were, like, brought us close to divorce. Early on in the marriage, we fought a lot. We struggled through some of the relationships with some of the communication through the struggles. But the one thing we didn't struggle with is whenever there was a big issue, like exter. I would say, external issue coming in, we actually came together really well in those moments, which actually helped us get through some of the. The less important stuff. When you have a big thing happen in your life, like a death or something like that that comes along and you have to just face it or sickness or something, you have to face these things.

0:19:06 - (Bryan): You tend to look after you've been through that, you look at the stuff, you think, well, that's not nearly as important as it was before. But then we have. Then there's other. Other relationships and other people that we've coached, they're like, we get along on all the small things, but the moment that there's a big thing, they can't. They. They actually are, like, completely divisive.

0:19:21 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:19:22 - (Bryan): And. And because it's a big issue, it causes a big rift.

0:19:25 - (Natalie): Right.

0:19:26 - (Bryan): Right. And so I think ours in. In our case was little things really made us mad.

0:19:31 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:19:31 - (Bryan): And we would fight over just silly things, but then the big things we would Come together.

0:19:35 - (Natalie): That's right. And you know, and we lump this in with experiences because it's not though. It's. Some of this stuff isn't happy.

0:19:42 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:19:44 - (Natalie): You're still experiencing it together.

0:19:46 - (Bryan): Right.

0:19:47 - (Natalie): And so we capitalized on that of allowing the communication to remain open in those times so that one of us didn't shut down.

0:19:55 - (Bryan): But that was also quite a few years in after we had to work through some things and learn some tools and had some good friends that were pointing stuff out and like, it. It takes a while. And. And that's one of the things we love about doing this podcast, is that we want to teach people the tools to be better sooner and not wait until that we're right in the middle of dire straits. Our relationship is on the rocks. What can I learn now that's actually going to help me grow? We want. No, no. We learn it now so that I can help you later.

0:20:23 - (Natalie): Right. This is our experience. And. And you might listen and have like a totally different idea. And I think that that's great. And please share it with us because I think the more tools that we can help each other with for things like this.

0:20:41 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:20:42 - (Natalie): The more that we all thrive then.

0:20:44 - (Bryan): Yeah. And so I think that even as we kind of the benefits of it and here's some just practical application, find an experience to do together. Really.

0:20:53 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:20:53 - (Bryan): Because this is what it'll do. It'll. It. You'll actually create, in our case, some weird shared type memories that are not just with us, but also with our kids or when we were in. Where was the place that you and Jeremy had to save me and Katie from getting into a car in Curacao. Me and Katie were like, sweet, this guy has a car. He can take us to that pizza. We wanted to go, there was a. There was a car.

0:21:15 - (Bryan): The guy was legit. You two think you saved our lives. Me and Katie think, well, now we would have been fine. But what's the memory? We never ended up getting in the car because Katie and Jeremy or Natalie and Jeremy. But when we. We think about it later or we still talk about it like, hey, during that time that we saved Katie and Brian's life, we're like, that's not. Whatever. Yeah. Boneheads. That's not at all what happened.

0:21:36 - (Bryan): But it creates. It creates a shared, shared memory that's actually experiences. That's funny that you can think back. And that actually brought us like, I don't think in the moment you're like, oh, man, I bet you this memory is going to bring Us closer together. No, but you think about it later.

0:21:52 - (Natalie): Like, reflect on.

0:21:53 - (Bryan): You reflect on. You're like, well, I actually will.

0:21:55 - (Natalie): And we had. We had a lot of. That trip was just epic. We had a lot of great laughs. A lot of funny things happened on that trip.

0:22:04 - (Bryan): Yeah, but.

0:22:07 - (Natalie): And, but, but those are the things. Well, some of that was out of our control, but some of those things, you know, when you're. When you're planning good experiences together, you're not planning for things to go wrong. To go wrong. And what you do in the moment, when they do kind of have something goes a little bit weird is just as equally important as the stuff that comes at you when you're not expecting it.

0:22:35 - (Bryan): Yeah. And actually it's in the negative when something goes wrong that actually shows the type of relationship you have, because in the good things, anyone can, like, you see it in movies all the time and all these stupid Hollywood things that are like, oh, you remember all the good times. Yeah, but we had more bad times than we had good times. And that's. That's their. Their barometer for the relationship.

0:22:58 - (Natalie): And I encourage you in that. Write it out. Because oftentimes this is just a sidebar. Perspective can be skewed by circumstantial information coming at you. And. And there have been years where it just seemed like it was one catastrophe after another after another after another. And. And it can feel like this is all that this year had to offer.

0:23:26 - (Bryan): Right.

0:23:26 - (Natalie): And sometimes it is what that year has to offer. And it was really helpful to write it down. Write down, like. Like, I love doing this. Writing down a timeline. Okay. You know, what was kind of a pivotal thing I remember of January and whatever. And then you look at it, and this is what we were talking about in our Christmas episode, where we do the New Year's resolutions and we reflect on the year.

0:23:48 - (Natalie): It can, you know, many times are like, oh, this year sucked. It was terrible. And then we get to that part and we're journaling of, like, whoa, there's way more good things that happened that far away. The bad things, though, you still have to work through the bad things.

0:24:04 - (Bryan): Yes, absolutely. And so it creates shared memories. You actually build a stronger bond because you had to fight through the good and through the bad. It's interesting how when you're in the middle of these moments and things are going on and you look at it after how much happiness or joy or laughter it can possibly bring you, Those are good things. Those aren't bad things. When you look back and you laugh at something that's a good thing, you grow closer because you did something where you stepped out of our comfort zone. We had never been on a cruise.

0:24:32 - (Bryan): We had never. We had been around. We had been around all kinds of new people, new cultures, which I just loved. That was fantastic. Meeting all kinds of new people, sitting at table with people that we didn't know, sitting on, doing all those things, just having a good time. And you're just out of the comfort zone. Or hiking up, spying compass out of the comfort zone. Or when we've done rock climbing out of our comfort zone, like these things that we do together. And it provides opportunities for you to actually know each other better and understand each other better.

0:25:01 - (Natalie): Yeah.

0:25:02 - (Bryan): Right.

0:25:02 - (Natalie): Because it gives you stuff to talk about.

0:25:04 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:25:05 - (Natalie): If you're really struggling with what do we even talk about? Do a new experience together. Do an exit room.

0:25:11 - (Bryan): Ask the question.

0:25:11 - (Natalie): Bowling.

0:25:12 - (Bryan): Yeah.

0:25:12 - (Natalie): Right.

0:25:13 - (Bryan): Yeah. Yeah. So there's lots of things that you can do, and it's in these moments that you're going to find. Find an intimacy that you wouldn't get just doing a normal routine thing.

0:25:24 - (Natalie): Right. And it fosters friendship. Right. Because eventually the kids are going to be out of the house and you.

0:25:29 - (Bryan): Have to love each other still.

0:25:30 - (Natalie): And we. Right. We love doing things together and want. Want that to be something we're not afraid of. Of like. Well, now we wait till the kids are gone and then we start fostering that. No, we're being intentional now.

0:25:44 - (Bryan): So what we're saying is go out there and try new things. Experience new things.

0:25:48 - (Natalie): Exactly.

0:25:49 - (Bryan): And then how you look at the. The routine and how you look out the new things, but also how you look at the negative and the positive, the hard and easy, the fun and the not so fun. How you look at those things will 100 matter. I would say this is the one thing take away. Find something that gets you out of your comfort zone together and experience that thing together. And I think that it will. I know that it will grow the both of you into loving each other more and deeper. If you let it.

0:26:14 - (Natalie): That's right.

0:26:15 - (Bryan): Right. If you let it. And so if you like this podcast, and we know that you do, it means a lot when you let people know about it. You share it. Let people know on all the social. But you can let people know about amplified marriage. That was hard. You can follow us on Instagram and on Facebook. If there is a topic or a question or a suggestion or a suggestion which we love or anything that you would like us to talk about, please email us@plifiedmarriagemail.com and as you hear us say every single episode, we believe this about your marriage, that it can be reset, refreshed, recharged and restored. Thanks for listening.

0:26:50 - (Natalie): Talk to you soon.